“I think it’s also one of those quintessential kid activities that parents actually look forward to teaching.”
Oh, how young and naïve we were three years ago…
My girls had been riding their first bikes (with training wheels) for about 3 years. Since our neighborhood is on a steep hillside, the girls keep the bikes at their grandparents’ house where it’s flatter and where they would have more space to ride. They rode them heavily; growing out of helmets, raising seats, and patching tires. But for me and Troy, the bikes were a bit out of sight, out of mind.
We had the intention of taking the training wheels off over Spring Break when they were around 5 ½. That got pushed off until the summer, and then another Spring Break passed. Finally, Aeris grew out of the entire bike, knees hitting the handlebars. It was time to buy a new bike, thus no more training wheels.
The actual catalyst came last October. We went to the beach, and the state park nearby had a ton of bicycle trails. I had the idea that we could rent bikes for the day, teach them how to ride in the morning, then spend the afternoon biking around the park.
What actually happened was one of the WORST parenting experiences I’ve had so far. I pulled out every approach in my arsenal; from incentives to bribery, eventually landing on shaming, rage and anger.
So, while our first article on how to teach your kid how to ride a bike went through the mechanics of bike riding, this post is one of many possible outcomes when you actually have to teach it.
Worst Day Ever
We rented kids bikes in the park, which sowed the first seeds of doubt. They weren’t pretty or new. They were taller than their bikes at home, but still in the appropriate range for their height.
We had a flat, straight sidewalk to practice and Troy and I would switch off the girls individually every hour or so. Other groups would pass us on the sidewalk and give them attaboys.
But for some reason, the girls thought Troy and I were just going to hold them upright the whole time; that they didn’t have to balance or pedal on their own. It didn’t take much for them to realize that this wasn’t an easy skill to pick up, and they immediately retreated into being scared to fall, scared to go fast, and being okay with having training wheels into adulthood.
This mental block translated physically. We would remind them to keep their body upright, keep their shoulders and elbows framed, and they forgot every time we would start over. The bike would start to tip, and they would freak out instead of just putting a foot down. The encouragement and teaching morphed from “Here’s what to do” to “What are you doing?” to “Why aren’t you listening to me?”.
The parent frustration also translated into:
“We just spent money on these bikes for the day. We’re not stopping yet.”
“Bike riding is one of the most fun things kids can do. I’m sad that you don’t want to learn that.”
“You’re scared you’re going to fall?” Pushes kid in grass. “There, that’s done. Let’s move on.”
“I’m not buying you new bikes until you learn this.”
“Kids are going to make fun of you if you show up with training wheels.”
“No, you can’t just get an e-bike or e-scooter. You still have to balance to ride those.”
“Fine. Be a quitter. I’m done.”
(Expletives everywhere)
We tried riding in the grass. We tried switching bikes. We tried just getting on and off the bike. After three hours, we took a break for lunch. We didn’t enter the park that day, and Troy and I didn’t even get to use the adult bikes that we rented.
In hindsight, I was mostly disappointed that this fun day that I had planned had broken. I liked the idea of the girls learning this lifelong skill during this fun vacation week. I knew they weren’t going to pick it up immediately, but they seemed to be getting less and less capable by the time we stopped.
The Next Day
The following day, we tried something new that definitely was not an option we had growing up. We rented two Tag Along bikes.
These are adult bikes with an attached third wheel and a kid bike seat, not a tandem bike. Troy and I would ride in front, handling the balance and steering. The girls would be towed behind. They still had to pedal but didn’t have to worry about falling or steering wobbly.
For the most part, these were pretty easy to handle and the girls could at least feel the difference being on a bigger, faster bike. They are not as easy to stop and dismount, because there is more weight behind you. The handlebars were also wider and funky, so they were harder for me steer. Overall, they did take a bit to get used to (especially since I’ve only rode spin bikes for the last 20 years), but we were able to ride around the park for the morning, stop in the wildlife center, and see a lecture on wetland snakes.
Full disclosure: There was a fall and small accident that definitely spooked Z toward the end. The only person who got injured was me.
The Next, Next Day
When we got back home, I think the girls were relieved to get their old bikes back. Not so fast….
In addition to take the training wheels off, we also took off their pedals. This essentially turned them into balance bikes. Honestly, this was probably the turning point. It was literally all downhill from there.
The girls would ride down the slight decline in their grandparent’s neighborhood, using their feet to slow down or correct balance. After an afternoon of getting this skill down, we put the pedals back on at their request.
They would walk the bike to the top of the incline, ease down the hill with their feet on the pedals (not pedaling) and aim to stay upright and steer straight. Once they got used to the speed and the braking control, they would use the momentum coming down the hill to turn and pedal going back up the hill.
This took another hour to practice before they could do a full lap completely on their own.
In the end, the girls did learn to ride a bike sans training wheels before the end of the vacation and I got some great photos us with our Tag Along bikes. However, I would’ve gladly outsourced that entire first day. I should’ve known that my and the girls’ temperaments do not mix with this type of skill building. I still feel terrible about the things that came out of my mouth that morning.
Like potty training, riding a bike is one of those things that we kind of gloss over in our memory. I remember learning with my stepdad at 5 years old, and it only took maybe an hour to figure out. Same with Troy. The idea that it took multiple days for our girls to learn is mind blowing.
If you are planning on taking the training wheels off anytime soon, please remember to give them and yourself plenty of grace.
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