OMG, they have to walk upstairs???
So many little things and changes pop up at the beginning of the school year. While they may not seem like that big of a deal to kids (especially if they’ve been in their school for a while), for parents it’s a sign of time passing too fast.
By the time kids hit fourth grade, school suddenly demands more from their home setup. My son now spends real time at his desk: homework, online assignments, supplemental workbooks, you name it.
The problem is that his desk has slowly transformed into a geological dig site of papers, half-finished personal projects, and an ever-growing collection of knick‑knacks and doodads. Every time I remind him to tidy it up, the clutter returns like it has a life of its own. The result is that he abandons his desk altogether and completes his written tasks and assignments at the dinner table instead. What is happening?
Which brings me to this thought: What do kids actually need for learning at home? While it may sound like a question with an obvious answer, it becomes surprisingly relevant once we look at how and where the academic work actually gets done.
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Kids can seem allergic to focus when it’s something we need them to do: homework, chores, anything that feels like a requirement rather than a choice. And yet, that very same child who can’t stay with a worksheet for five minutes will suddenly spend an entire afternoon perfecting a dance routine, building an elaborate Lego world, painting with total intensity, or disappearing into a book.
In those moments, we unintentionally play the “bad guy,” interrupting the very focus we wish they had during everything else. That kind of deep, effortless engagement is the beginning of what psychologists call flow.
The term flow was coined by psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi (Me-high Cheek-sent-me-high-ee), who introduced it in 1975 through his research on artists, athletes, and other deeply absorbed performers. He wanted to understand why people feel their best when they’re fully immersed in something. Through thousands of interviews and years of experience sampling studies, he found a clear pattern: people felt their greatest focus, enjoyment, and meaning when the challenge of a task matched their skill. Ergo, flow.
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When it comes to kids and eating, those early years can feel brutal. You’re cooking two separate dinners, avoiding restaurants altogether, or gearing up for nightly standoffs with a child who will defend their right not to eat a vegetable with the confidence of a seasoned negotiator.
But once kids move into elementary school and beyond, the mealtime battles don’t disappear — they just change. The dramatic toddler meltdowns fade, yet new challenges pop up as attention span, sensory tolerance, independence, and social awareness evolve. Many of these behaviors are still totally typical, even if they drive parents up the wall. Others, though, can signal that a child’s eating patterns deserve a closer look. And that’s where things get confusing.
In reality, most families are wrestling with the same common handful of mealtime frustrations. The real question is which eating behaviors are developmentally normal for big kids, and which ones are true red flags?
Continue readingWe’re back from Summer Blog Break and recapping not only our summer to-dos but our resolution goals as well. May/June may have felt like the longest month ever, but we just got our Back-to-School shopping lists and the last four weeks of vacation are gonna slide by ridiculously fast. Let’s call this our Q2 review.
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Child(ish) Advice 