Babies cry. Period.

For those first few months, newborns sound the alarm every time they feel slightly off kilter. As a new parent, it can be rough trying to decipher what your baby needs. Regardless of how many parenting books you may read, decoding cries doesn’t necessarily come with textbook instructions

Crying is the first and most important form of communication infants have with their parents and caregivers. Their entire survival depends on it. The first two months of life, their cries intensify, peaking between 6 to 8 weeks before significantly decreasing by 3 to 4 months of age. This decline aligns with key developmental milestones, such the emergence of self-soothing behaviors (sucking fingers to turning head away when overstimulated), vocalizations (cooing and babbling), and motor skills (reaching, grasping, pushing up onto elbows and forearms during tummy time).

Although it can be tough to handle your baby’s cries, especially in the moment, there’s always a rhyme and reason behind them. Every cry is a way of communicating a need.

Cry Now, Talk Later

Baby cries lay the foundation for speech and language development. Crying helps babies learn to control their breath and vocal cords, laying the groundwork for speech. As they grow, their cries become more structured and intentional, shaped by vocal cord maturation and brain development. Until about 3 months old, the sounds newborns produce are mainly reflexive reactions to their physical and emotional needs, such as hunger, fatigue, or discomfort. They also learn that when they cry, someone will come to address them; laying the foundation for verbal and nonverbal communication.

As babies grow, their crying becomes more predictable, responding to familiar situations rather than random or new experiences. Through interactions with caregivers, they begin to understand that sounds convey meaning, leading them to experiment with more complex vocalizations.

At the height of their crying phase, babies start cooing (soft, vowel-like sounds such as “ooh” and “ahh”) as they explore their voice and engage socially. While crying expresses discomfort, cooing signifies early speech development and interaction. Over time, cooing gradually replaces crying, as babies begin using sounds to engage with people. These vocalizations strengthen the muscles involved in speech, preparing infants to form words as they continue to develop.

Deciphering Dunstan

Some researchers have theorized that babies have a mini library of sounds they use to communicate their needs before they cry. One of the best-known of these theories is the Dunstan Baby Language. This theory isn’t scientifically proven but has gained traction due to its simplicity and application to most babies.

Priscilla Dunstan, an Australian opera singer, developed the Dunstan Baby Language after noticing that all babies produce specific sounds right before they start crying. She believed that recognizing these sounds could help parents understand their baby’s needs before the crying intensifies. Although not a speech therapist or baby expert, Dunstan applied her keen musical ear and vocal training to study infant sounds globally, forming the basis of her research.

The technique identifies five distinct sounds that babies under 3 months old use to signal their needs before crying. In addition to recognizing these vocal cues, the approach considers body movements and hand gestures to help parents better understand their baby’s distress. Observing the pattern and frequency of crying can also provide valuable insight into what an infant may be trying to communicate. Here’s the cheat sheet:

Feed me – “Neh”

• The “neh” sound is typically produced when a baby’s tongue touches the roof of their mouth, activating the sucking reflex and signaling that the baby might be looking to feed
• In the early stages of hunger, the cries are long, low-pitched, and repetitive with extended breaks in between; as the feeling intensifies, the cries become progressively louder and longer with shorter pauses
• Physical signs include: fist-clenching; lip smacking; turning their head toward anything that touches their face and opening their mouth (rooting reflex); putting hands in their mouth
• Crying is often a late sign of hunger, so it’s best to catch the early cues (newborns typically feed every 2 to 4 hours)

Burp me – “Eh”

• The accompanied “eh” sound during a cry is produced when excess air is trapped in the baby’s stomach, and they try to push it up through their throat
• Body language may involve squirming or arching of their back

I’m le tired – “Owh/Oah”

• The “owh” sound is created when a baby’s mouth forms an oval shape (like they’re yawning) as they try to settle down
• Often accompanied by rubbing their eyes or arching their back
• Feeling sleepy is one of the leading causes of why babies cry since they require an ample amount of sleep

I’m so gassy – “Eair/Eargghh”

• This “eair” sound is made when an infant tenses their abdominal muscles trying to relieve discomfort by trapped air
• They may pull up their knees to their chest, kick out their legs, or arch their back
• May indicate the need to relieve gas or poop

I’m so uncomfortable right now – “Heh”

• The “heh” sound is linked to physical discomfort – too hot, too cold, itchy, wet, the list goes on
• Mild intermittent cries, intensifying as the sensation continues
• Often indicates a need for a diaper (or outfit) change
• This may also mean that they are overstimulated with their environment and need a break
• Body language includes back arching or moving their head from side to side

Outside of Dunstan’s five sounds, babies cry for other reasons. Honorable mentions include:

• Pain – single, sudden, long, high-pitched cry that may repeat as the waves of pain continue; back arching and head rotation may be noted as well as rubbing/pulling the hurt area (like the ear)
• Sick – unusual and persistent cry that may sound weak or tired; lethargy, limited food intake, or fever may be seen
• Colic – unexplained, excessive, or persistent painful cries that begin suddenly around the same time of day and continue for hours; may stiffen their limbs, clench their fists, and arch their back
• Boredom – may want your attention, be picked up, or entertained
• Startled/scared – accompanied by jerking arms following an unexpected sound, touch, or imposed movement

While the effectiveness of Dunstan Baby Language is still under review, the research looks promising. Some studies indicate that parents who learn the method report lower stress levels, as they feel more confident in understanding their baby’s needs. Additionally, a study analyzing baby sounds found that 89% of the identified cries matched Dunstan’s classifications. Another study using AI-based sound classification achieved an accuracy rate of 94.7% in recognizing different baby cries.

Understanding Baby

Building a strong bond with your baby can be challenging, especially as they navigate their world and work to communicate just as much as we try to teach and understand them. This process takes time and plenty of trial and error. I remember the endless guessing games with my little ones—offering a bottle, changing them, or soothing with a pacifier, only to repeat the process again. When we start to see the patterns and frame crying as a means of communication, we can approach crying more like problem-solving, instead of “this baby just hates me”.

Feeling overwhelmed while caring for a crying baby is completely normal, especially when in the beginning, every cry sounds like an emergency alarm. Many parents have experienced a breaking point when taking care of an inconsolable infant (if they say they haven’t, they’re lying). When you get to that point, take a moment to reset. Place your baby in a safe space, like their crib, and taking a few minutes for yourself can help. Whether it’s listening to music or practicing deep breathing, a short break can make a big difference.

While understanding your baby’s cries may seem difficult at first, it gets easier as you become familiar with their daily patterns and needs. And you don’t need to meticulously study different sounds; research suggests that the ability to recognize a baby’s cries develops naturally. Parents and caregivers who spend significant time with infants often become attuned to their cries and can even distinguish pain from discomfort in babies they’ve never met.

Do NOT rush this process. With time, you’ll start to interpret what each cry means, allowing you to feel more confident in meeting your baby’s needs. This understanding strengthens your resolve and replaces the panic with reassurance. The key is patience, persistence, and a willingness to learn your baby’s unique way of communicating.

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