I don’t know about you, but we’re obsessed with Real Housewives on vacation. Patti and I have even joked about recreating a few of them ourselves (minus the chaos, of course).

We’ve traveled together plenty over the years, but we had never taken a true girls’ trip. Not with a spouse, or other couples, or families; a real girl’s trip with 3+ adult women. This year, we finally made it happen with a getaway to Salem, MA, joined by Patti’s SIL and her best friend.

But honestly, the number of people doesn’t define a girls’ trip. It’s any intentional getaway shared between women, created for connection, fun, and a break from the everyday. Decidedly NOT a bachelorette. And for women in their midlife season, girls’ trips carry even more meaning because it meets the psychological, social, and biological needs that become more apparent in midlife.

Resetting the 40s

Women in midlife hit a convergence point of peak responsibility, shifting identity, and a body that’s less willing to run on autopilot. Girls’ trips interrupt that cycle in ways backed by research. They:

• Strengthen social ties (and longevity). Adventure and group travel create deep social bonds that improve physical and psychological health. Strong social networks are linked to a 50% greater likelihood of long-term survival compared to weaker ones. In your 40s, when friendships can get squeezed by parenting, career, and caregiving, trips rebuild the emotional scaffolding that keeps women resilient. Shared experiences can also become cherished memories that can act as emotional buffers and sources of comfort during stressful or transitional seasons.
  
  
• Spark cognition. Midlife brains crave novelty. New environments boost creativity, mental agility, and flexibility, especially when you’re navigating cities, cultures, and shared experiences. It’s why women often return from trips feeling mentally “awake” again. As a bonus, navigating unfamiliar places and trying new things builds self‑confidence and adaptability, skills which carry over into everyday life.
  
  
• Serve as a reset and stress reducer. Travel interrupts routine and roles, giving your mind a break. Chill mornings and unstructured time act as a nervous system reset that lasts long after you’re home.
  
  
• Boost happiness and emotional well-being. Girls’ trips increase endorphins through exploration, novelty, and joy. Endorphins make you happy and happy people don’t…well, you know the rest. These trips also create space for mindful relaxation that brings mental clarity and calm.
  
  
• Rekindle identity and passion. Midlife often brings the question of What’s next? Travel with friends helps women reconnect with passions, curiosity, and parts of themselves that get buried under decades of responsibility.

Pick Your (Travel) Partner

The type of gal you choose as a travel buddy matters because it can make or break the entire experience. This is not to say that one friend is better than the other, but a girls’ trip is its own little ecosystem of shared decisions, space, and energy. When the dynamic is off, it creates friction. But when it’s right, the whole trip just clicks.

Things to consider:

• Similar vibe and pace. This is a major indicator of travel buddy compatibility. If you’re both early risers or both night owls, both chill explorers or both itinerary lovers, both “let’s wander” or both “let’s plan,” the trip feels naturally aligned.
  
  
• Compatible budget expectations. Money tension ruins a trip faster than anything else. You need a travel buddy who’s honest about what they can spend, doesn’t guilt‑trip you for choosing differently, and doesn’t push for luxury if you prefer simple, or vice versa. Along with this, figure out who has Zelle/Venmo and how your splitting costs.
  
  
• Emotional safety. The right travel buddy is someone who doesn’t judge, doesn’t compete, doesn’t stir up drama, and lets you show up as your off‑duty self. That kind of emotional ease is especially important for women in their 40s, who are often traveling to reset and reconnect with parts of themselves they don’t get to access in everyday life.
  
  
• Ability to PIVOT!  Travel always comes with hiccups, from delayed flights, wrong turns, to restaurants that looked better online than in person. That’s why you need someone who can pivot without spiraling or assigning blame. Flexibility is the difference between laughing through the chaos and fighting your way through it.
  
  
• Shared definition of “fun”. This is about compatible expectations. If one person wants late‑night bars and the other wants quiet early mornings, the trip starts to fracture. Matching expectations keeps the experience smooth, enjoyable, and drama‑free. Even letting each person’s nerd flag fly is great. One could be really into antiquing, another could want to do a coffee crawl, another might want to go to a concert; the right combo of interests will really stretch your experience if everyone is up for the ride.
  
  
• Clear communication. A great travel partner is someone who can communicate clearly. That’s someone who says what they want, what they don’t want, can compromise without building resentment, and speaks up before tension has a chance to grow. If you aren’t drinking or if you had food aversions, or if you really, really, really just want to do this one thing, make sure everyone knows. Having more than 3 people also gives you an option to split up if needed.
  
  
• Friend chem. Some friends are perfect for coffee dates but not for travel, and some thrive in group trips but struggle one‑on‑one. Others are wonderful at home yet become anxious or controlling once they’re on the road. Knowing the travel version of your friend matters just as much as knowing the everyday one. TBH, knowing how your future spouse travels is kind of a big deal as well.
  

A Getaway Recap – Patti

Full disclosure: Mary and I weren’t the only moms this trip, but all four of us are married and between 38-41. While we each have very different styles, I like to think we gelled really well. We all had certain part of the trip we were responsible for, and we all had more than one person to lean on. We also all love emo music, bookshops, and dressing in black.

The idea started about 18 months ago with Mary expressing that Salem was on her bucket list and she wanted it to be a girls’ trip. My SIL had just had a girls’ trip to Salem and when I asked her, said she would be totally up for going again. This helped tremendously because between the two of us, we each had a sense logistically of what to plan.

Once we got our roster, we took it to the group chat. We shared availability for travel dates, AirBnb links, and evenly split all the totals. I kept an open Google Sheet with our payment dates, flight times, rental car, restaurant and shopping links, and a basic itinerary that we would fill in once reservations were confirmed. Whenever one of us saw something cool about Salem or Boston, we would share in the chat and see if it was a yay or nay. Closer to the trip, we also started sharing packing lists and planning outfits. I also created a saved Google Map to keep the destinations handy.

I keep it generally safe with one morning activity and one evening activity, fitting around meals and the areas we were in. There’s always some quiet time built in as well. I also know better than to plan everything so strictly. Commute time, getting ready time, “dilly dally” time; we’re girls after all.

We spent most of our time in Salem around Essex Street, eating at all the kitschy restaurants and coffee shops that our group couldn’t get into on their first trip. Salem in October is ridiculously packed. The end of August, not so much.

As a group, we got our Aura photos taken at Ascend, got dressed up at Witchpix, and booked an evening ghost tour with Spellbound Tours. There were so many boutiques and historical spots; our favorites being Oak and Moss, The Sea Wych, and HausWitch. Then we capped it off with exploring around Boston before heading home, hitting the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, the Map Room at the Boston Public Library, and the Old North Church and Bova’s Bakery in the North End.

I always love the feeling towards the end of the trip when everyone wants to talk about what trip we’re going on next.

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