Of course for Back-to-School month we’re reviewing a school(ish) book. This one thankfully is a much more productive read than last year’s. I received an advance copy of A+ Parenting via NetGalley. Technically the book came out in October 2023, so I hope NetGalley will forgive my tragically late feedback.
Summary: Eva Moskowitz has built a national reputation as the founder and leader of Success Academy Charter Schools, one of the country’s most highly regarded networks of schools. But while most people know Eva for her success in educating 20,000 mainly low-income students who are routinely accepted to our nation’s best universities, she has also been responsible for raising three children of her own. In A+ Parenting, Eva shares what she has learned both as a parent and an educator about raising children to be enthusiastic and successful learners.
The book is split into three parts; some more easily applicable than others. While I like Moskowitz’s approach, it can be a bit heavy-handed in some areas. I have my own thoughts about charter schools, but we’re not going to get into school choice. That is not what this book is about, nor would I call it a true parenting book either. Instead, as instructed by the introduction, this book introduces ways that parents can foster curious learners.
Here are my pull quotes and takeaways:
“On a single Saturday, you can play chess with your child in the morning, take them to a museum in the afternoon, and watch a movie with them in the evening. And the truth is that if you can manage to do just one of these things every day that your child is out of school, it will have an enormous impact.“
I think that we are coming down from the idea of helicopter parenting, where parents are actively guiding and supervising their children’s academic performance. Instead, parents want to expose their children to diverse, higher-level culture earlier to give them a leg up when they get older.
Moskowitz advocates for exposing kids to different ways to learn versus what to learn. This goes hand-in-hand with posts we’ve previously written about executive and cognitive function. There are so many different ways that the brain can learn besides curriculum instruction.
Instead of giving you a study guide of everything your kid needs to know, the author gives you games and activities that promote different ways of learning that you can do at home For example, she says that the kids in Success Academy all learn how to play soccer early on, as well as chess. She argues that the social and intellectual skills learned in both games directly tied to positive learning habits and aptitudes. She talks about patience, focus and strategic thinking; things that news outlets are saying the current generation of high school and college students are lacking.
Similar to many OT-based exercises, play can boost many executive functions while still being fun. Here are some of the things she dives into that are both intellectually stimulating and fun to do:
- Board Games – Cooperative, rules-based, creative. Not games of chance. Includes single, two-player, and team games.
- Parlor Games – Charades, Pictionary, things that require fast thinking and movement
- Music – Exploring different genres, going to concerts, singing along, learning an instrument
- Logic puzzles – Tests different ways of thinking and mental flexibility
- Movies and Television – Go older, ask questions
- Art – Museums, trying different mediums, learning the masters
- Travel and Summers – A little privileged but yes, travel and outdoor experiences in the summer are enriching
- Comedy – Improv, jokes, Monty Python, helps develop your child’s humor
Pages and pages of recommended books, games, movies, TV shows and audiobooks by age are included in the appendix.
“You are not under a moral obligation to sacrifice your happiness for that of your children. If you did, then your children would presumably have a moral obligation to sacrifice their happiness for their children, and it would go on and on, a parenting Ponzi scheme in which nobody actually gets to enjoy themselves!“
I don’t think this is directly relevant to the topic, but it’s a nice reminder for Millennial parents. I think pursuing passions and hobbies is a habit that rubs off on our kids; and it serves as their introduction to leaving space for intentional fun and enjoyment.
“It can seem intimidating to take responsibility for teaching your kids because you may not feel you know that much. However, as Pausch’s father illustrates, it’s more important to model curiosity and inquisitiveness than to have all the answers.“
I got a little bit of mixed messaging with this one. Yes, we want our kids to appreciate things like art and nature. We don’t necessarily have to be art historians or rugged campers to do that. We can expose our kids to these enriching things, and model appreciation, curiosity, and respect for them.
However, Moskowitz also brings up exposing your kids to poetry, 1930s black-and-white movies, and extracurricular math enrichment. None of these things are bad; but as a busy adult, they aren’t high on my priority list. If I’m not a huge fan of classical poetry structure, I’m not going to make my kid sit through it because it’s “good for them”. Something about it seems a little Tiger Mom. Moskowitz brings up showing your eight-year-old Ben Hur and The Ten Commandments? If you don’t particularly enjoy certain things like Charlton Heston, I don’t think your kids are going to either. Someone must have the slightest bit interest/curiosity/inquisitiveness for it to be worthwhile. Otherwise, it’s just going to feel like work.
Side note: I do like poetry and the girls have a few children’s poetry books. But I’m not busting out Rime of the Ancient Mariner to keep them on their toes.
“If you can get your child to become an avid reader of good books, that alone will virtually ensure that they become well-educated.“
One way of seeing this is through the headline incoming college freshman have never completed a book from beginning to end in their high school career. One solution might be to force all kids to finish books from cover to cover. Another might be taking steps in early education to foster a love of reading independently and for fun. Avid reading doesn’t happen if you’re only reading for school assignments.
I don’t think you can just turn kids into lifelong active readers, nor do I think that only lifelong active readers can be successful. I think you can model successful reading habits and have a diverse array of reading material readily available. But some kids don’t quite get there immediately. One of my high school teachers said “You never know what book is going to turn your kid into a lifelong reader.” This could happen when they’re young and reading Harry Potter, or it could be when they’re older and reading Fifty Shades of Grey. You can’t just force it.
That being said, at least paint reading books in a positive light. Bring them to the library, read aloud, read in communal places instead of just in bed. We make such a big deal about our kids being able to read, but then don’t follow through with prioritizing time to actually read for fun.
“In short, to function in a modern society, you need to master a body of knowledge, not just to learn how to read and think. Your child’s home life influences this. In fact, researchers have found that while children from underprivileged homes who read at grade level through third grade often suffer a fourth-grade slump, which is likely due to a lack of core knowledge. To get to a second-grade level, children need to learn to decode, but beginning around third grade, books become more complicated and require more background knowledge and more advanced vocabulary.“
Yes, this I agree with. I can’t tell you how many times I felt smarter than my class because I could recall a random history fact or used a considerably longer vocab word from Full House or Jurassic Park or Monopoly. I think when Millennials say that they were raised by TV, people don’t realize that the programming we were watching tended to be informative. Perhaps that’s why I’m so critical of the content my kids are watching now. Reading can cover a good body of knowledge, but pop culture, musicals, cooking shows, etc. make knowledge immersive. Pair them together.
One of the things I hate about parenting books, especially when it comes to academic performance, is that some books will claim that this is an easy, foolproof way to get a kid straight A’s. Similar to how most early parenting books claim that this is the foolproof way to not have disruptive or difficult children. Nothing about parenting is completely by the book; and with this book, I would take it more as a helpful suggestion and not gospel.
Overall, I do agree with Moskowitz’s approach. Learning is more than just curriculum and application. I think kids are naturally curious at younger ages, but parents should be nurturing that and modeling it at any age. If we don’t, then you’re going to be hitting the “I’m so bored” roadblocks that are so difficult for kids to get out of. All of Moskowitz’s suggestions and subject areas are infinitely better than screen time.
All this being said, the book isn’t without its faults. Moskowitz does share a lot of examples from her own kids, which is a bit biased and subjective. Paired with Moskowitz’s role in politics, the book has a little bit of a “Do it my way” vibe. When she talks about more serious pursuits (reading, science, math), she tends to over explain herself and it gets long winded. Literally she tells a joke from a book and then takes two pages to explain why it’s funny. I tended to skim these sections.
She goes on a fairly long diatribe on zero tolerance for video games. While I can see her point, both my husband and brother are gamers and they still manage to be successful members of society. It would be very hypocritical of me to say that my kids can’t have video games altogether, but it is something I police very diligently.
Lastly, she touches on some “soft skills” for parents: keeping a positive mindset, age-appropriate challenges, keeping boundaries, etc. There’s a short chapter on managing learning disabilities and families that homeschool.
I think this book works alongside our post on Will Our Kids Be Boring. If you are looking for things to do WITH your kids to help stimulate their learning and foster curiosity, this book gives some great ideas. But as always, frame it for your family.
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