October is the season for all things scary. It’s the one time of year where skeletons, ghosts, and ghouls are commonplace, scary stories and movies are celebrated, and jump scares are permitted. Although Halloween can be a terrifying experience for some, others embrace the satisfying horror of it all. Why would your child would want to go the most decked-out, creepy house or want to hear a torturous tale before bed? It’s fun.

Putting the Fun in Fear

Getting scared is not my thing. It never has been. It just gets me riled up too much. On the other hand, my husband is all about it. He likes watching horror movies and going to haunted houses. He prides himself on being the scariest house in the neighborhood, giving kids full-size candy bars to those who dare ring our doorbell. How can there be such a drastic range of emotions between two people when it comes to Halloween?

The amygdala, a small structure found in the limbic system, is responsible for arousal level and emotions. When we are in a fearful situation, the amygdala signals for an adrenaline kick to flee the area (flight), stand our ground (fight), or remain completely still (fright/freeze). However, research has found that this same structure also contains neurons for pleasure and reward. The gene associated with rewards in the amygdala is involved in signaling the production of dopamine (the feel-good hormone). Combine that with the release of endorphins, oxytocin (the love hormone), and serotonin (the happy hormone) following a scare, we can experience feelings of euphoria, much like a runner’s high.

A 2020 study suggests that arousal level determines the difference between what’s fearful and what’s fun. It explains that we all have a “just right” amount of stimulation and surprise. If there isn’t enough stimulation, the activity is boring; while too much stimulation may be overwhelming, obvs. This quantity varies between individuals. For instance, those with a high set-point are more likely sensory seekers who crave intensity, whether that is crashing into pillows or getting the bejesus scared out of them.

Interoception, the sensory system responsible for letting us know how we feel internally, can also play a factor in how we respond to scary stuff depending on our perception of the environment. For example, if we were strolling through a haunted house, you could have a racing heartbeat, tightness in the chest, and sweaty palms. These may be identified as anticipation and excitement for one person but absolute terror and dread for another, resulting in different methods of dealing with the situation (continue to walk through the house or run away looking for the closest exit).

For the record, no one really likes to be scared if they feel that their life is genuinely at risk. However, we are more willing to be scared so long as we feel safe and have some agency to the circumstances. University of Maryland researchers studying MRI scans found that “stressor-related responses” decreased in the brain of people who believed they were in control of a stressful situation.

Scared Safely

Safe scares can provide a lot of positives for our kids, like:

• Helping them handle future stressful or challenging situations, like recalling memories of safe-but-scary events they survived from (ex: first day or school, trying a new food, riding a bike for the first time)
  
  
• Regulating their emotions and managing their anxieties by predicting when and prepping for the frightening moments
  
  
• Increasing their self-awareness, resilience, and independence (like during risky play)
  
  
• Distinguishing between a real threat and fictious one, reading their own interoceptive signals and responding to them accordingly (ex: sweaty palms, shortness of breath = nervous to read aloud in class, but not in any real danger)
  
  
• Allowing them to explore and experience real world scenarios in a controlled environment (ex: yelling, “Don’t open the door? Why would you open the door?! I wouldn’t open the door. Run away!” while watching a movie)
  
  
• Gaining a sense of accomplishment and building their self-confidence, especially if they watched an entire scary movie or walked through a haunted house without getting scared
  
  
• Releasing stress and boosting mood, presenting a mindful and meditative state afterwards

Scary experiences provide a low-cost method for kids to confront specific fears and explore the element of fear itself, similar to how rough-and-tumble play offers a low-risk way to explore aggression.

Scare Tactics

Although children can find joy in controlled macabre at any age, the reasoning behind it can vary. For instance, little ones may not understand the context as to why certain things should be terrifying because they are still processing the ins and outs of their environment. Their fears stem more from instinct (does this feel or look safe?), explaining why toddlers may not find Freddy Krueger scary but will absolutely jump in terror when you turn on the vacuum cleaner.

Kids will become more curious about the sensation of what fear brings and may want to explore it, pushing boundaries on the subject until they reach their threshold. You’ve probably seen this at Spirit Halloween. My son will step on the button triggers of each creepy animatronic he finds, assessing how he feels each time. Patti’s girls explore the slasher mask and zombie baby section of the store, investigating each hair-raising one until they’ve had their fill. They are actually testing themselves to see how much is too much.

Another reason for kids to like the scary stuff is because their exposure to it has created positive memories. Perhaps they like the closeness they feel with mom and dad when watching a suspenseful movie or how brave they felt when surviving a haunted hayride. My kids enjoy setting up our Halloween décor every year, from placing severed zombie heads in a tree to figuring out where to put the tombstones on the lawn. They feel proud of their contribution, oftentimes admiring their work and fixing anything that may have fallen out of place.

It’s important to mention that kids under the age of 7 may have a tough time differentiating between what’s real and what isn’t. Even though some children may find a monster movie entertaining, others might have just picked up a new fear (nightly monster checks now enforced). But by 9 years of age, their frontal and temporal lobes have undergone a growth spurt. This means that their cognitive functions are more efficient, allowing them to logically discern fantasy from reality and how to emotionally navigate the situation appropriately (just like in Divergent).

For a Ghoulish, Good Time

What conditions make for a successful scary experience for your child?

Age-Appropriate

• Do not show kids extreme horror flicks known for their graphic and disturbing scenes (like Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Saw)
• Avoid plot lines depicting self-harm
• Steer clear of horror movies that glorify the villain and their behavior (like The Omen)
• This is where MPAA ratings and Parental Guidelines come into play (Rated G, PG, PG-13, or for TV content, it’s Y7, 14, MA, etc). If you are unsure, watch the show first and assess for yourself.

Consent

• This should go without saying, but don’t force your kid to do something they feel they aren’t ready for, like entering a haunted house.
• Make sure they want to participate in the experience on their own accord, not because they feel obligated to do so (ex: feeling pressure from siblings or friends)
• Ensure that they have the autonomy to say “No” or change their mind if things become too much for them, like turning off the movie

Safety

• Make certain your child feels safe when engaging in frightening activities (examine the who, what, where, when, and how of the experience)
• Assess your kid’s emotional and mental state of the day before exposing them to scary content (ex: sleep deprived, new routines, rough day at school)
• Be available to help them process what they experienced

Scaffolding – modifying the activity or assistance needed for the child to be successful in completing a task

• Adjust the intensity to accommodate your child’s fear level (ex: watch a kid-friendly Halloween episode, read in broad daylight, look up spoilers to scary films)
• Discuss any internal sensations your child may be feeling to help them label, process it, and what to do about it (go to the bathroom, grab some popcorn, or turn on the lights to make less intense)
• Remind them that all the fearful components of these experiences are fake, pointing out the special effects used or even the silliness of the plot line (ex: “This zombie movie is totally fake. You can see the zipper on the back of their suit. So silly.”)

Halloween season is the best time to get into the spooky spirit and explore the sensations of fear in a safe, controlled environment. We know it can be very easy to slip into Mama Bear mode and try to protect your child from fear. Based on your kid’s age and experience, this can be a good time to put the bubble wrap away and lean into fun of being scared.

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