“Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep.” – Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Remember when you were a kid, you watched a horror film you probably shouldn’t have and from then on, your dreams were nothing but nightmares? Yeah, that happened to me, and that movie was Child’s Play.

The truth is kids will experience their version of a Freddy Krueger dreamscape regardless of whether they see a scary movie or not. In fact, nightmares are part of typical child development as they process what they have observed and experienced in their world thus far. But does it have to be in the form of bad dreams?

Sweet Dreams???

Dreams happen. They are an image reel of thoughts, emotions, and sensations that involuntarily occur while we sleep. But when we are particularly nervous, anxious, or worried, those dreams can manifest into nightmares, oftentimes carrying with them a vivid emotional experience or memory that wakes us up distressed. Although it’s still up for debate as to why we have these sleep episodes, it’s thought to be part of our ability to develop appropriate fear responses to real-world threats.

Whatever the cause, kids can find a bad dream downright terrifying, especially their first vivid dream. They can recall some fearsome details and may try to fight sleep just so they never experience it again. But that lack of zzz’s can make them overtired (and slightly delirious), leading to more nightmares.

Nightmares are common, starting around the age of 3 and peaking around 7-9 years of age. During REM sleep, the brain is processing and consolidating new memories and information. However, the regions that are activated to accomplish this task are the same ones responsible for dreams and nightmares. Similar to the dream reel sequence in Inside Out. The intense imagery and sensations felt during a bad dream can alert the body into a flight-fright-fight response (thanks amygdala). The result: our kids waking up screaming in the wee hours of the night and searching for us to feel safe and secure.

The types of dreams children have is dependent on their age. Preschoolers may dream up monsters or inanimate objects coming to life while older children have nightmares more closely related to everyday stressors or worse-case scenarios. However, a recent study found that nearly 70% of its child participants reported that their dreams were about something they had seen on TV.

The Terror

On an interesting note, there is research supporting the idea that children under the age of 6 may not be getting nightmares, but rather night terrors. What’s the difference?

Night terrors are episodes of terror and panic during sleep, but no recollection of it the next day. They are characterized by screaming, bolting in an upright position, or “fighting” against their dream. This is a sudden physical response while transitioning from one sleep phase to another. Unlike nightmares where a child is on the cusp of waking up, night terrors occur when they are in deep sleep where the brain is least active. This explains why your kid is unresponsive when consoling them while they’re in this state (and why they’re so chipper in the morning while you drag your feet to the coffee machine…thanks kiddo). 

What to Do

Nightmares aren’t easy to get over. We have no idea what our kids are dreaming about, but we do know that they need good restful sleep. So how can we help them? Here are some suggestions:

Reassurance. If your child has a nightmare, reassure them that they are okay. Explain to them they just had a bad dream. Although it may be easy to just say that it’s not real, we must remember that it’s extremely real to them in every sense of the word. Instead, acknowledge and validate their emotions, reminding them that they are safe. That may be with hugs or monster checks under the bed.

Cuddle buddies. If your kid has a favorite stuffed animal or blanket, now would be a good time to assign a new responsibility to them: sleep protector. Play into your child’s imagination by telling them that their stuffy can protect them from all the scary things at night so they can rest easy. A 2012 study found that children who were given a stuffed puppy (Huggy Puppy) had fewer nightmares and other stress-related symptoms.

Take the logical route. Some kids prefer to know the ins and outs of situations to feel more at ease. Talking to them about what a nightmare is may help them rest easily. If they are concerned about upcoming events, talk out their fears and guide them on ways to handle them. If irrational worries are causing their nightmares (alien invasion, shark attack in the bathtub, etc), you can discuss the low probabilities of them actually happening.

New perspective. If your child is still reeling from a nightmare, help them change the narrative. A lot of times, a bad dream ends when something “bad” is happening (or about to). A revised ending will make them less likely to have a nightmare. Have them retell the dream sequence, but then finish it to be something positive (think empowering, silly, or fun, like the riddikulus boggart in Harry Potter). So rather than being chased by a giant bear that’s trying to eat them, the bear just wanted to hand them back the picnic basket they left behind.

Sleep hygiene. Children who don’t get enough sleep are more likely to have nightmares. It goes without saying that practicing good sleep hygiene can help reduce them.

Age-Appropriate. Keep graphic and scary images from tv, movies, and the news away from your kids until they can grasp and understand the content. If they come to you with a scenario that they picked up somewhere else (like a creepy ginger homicidal doll), talk them through it so they can better process exactly what’s going on.

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