peer pressure

Coffee Chat: Kids Sports and the Long Game

| Patti Webb

Yes, we’ve been writing more and more about youth sports. But is it really that big of a surprise, since our kids are now 2-3 years into their teams and activities?

Just like OT, everything is foundational. What they are learning now is going to shape their social skills and identity 5, 10, 20+ years down the road.

Our kids’ sports experiences are vastly different, and they are uncovering a lot of skills and lessons for us parents to dive into. We’re also seeing a lot of bad habits thanks to sports system that’s getting harder to navigate.

Therein lies the conundrum: How long will our kids be on this path before it starts turning into a tearful, stressful, time-sucking money pit? Can we walk the line, or are we already in the vicious cycle?

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The Sheep, the Wolf, and the Sheepdog: Kids and Peers

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

There are three types of people in this world: sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. – Wayne Kyle, American Sniper

My husband has used this analogy to explain certain types of people to our son ever since he was little. Granted, it is an oversimplified explanation of human nature, but it gets the point across. In our version of the metaphor, sheep are those who cannot defend themselves when harm comes their way, wolves take advantage of their vulnerability, and the sheepdog stands up and protects the sheep. It’s a visual way to tell him to be a decent human and not be a d*ck.

 While our son has long understood this concept, it’s becoming harder for him to follow. In fact, it feels like he’s exhibiting more wolf-like behavior these days. Turns out the shift between sheepdog and wolf mirrors the growing complexity of his social circle and how kids his age are dealing with the next level of social skills and challenges.

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Our Escape Room Playdate Review

| Patti Webb

When we first came up with doing playdate reviews, we hated that we couldn’t find an escape room. For every spot in our area, the minimum age was maybe 10. Fast forward a year or two, and I get a flyer for Escapology at my girls’ field hockey practice. A new space was opening up literally 10 minutes from us. I could’ve kissed the mom (who happened to be the owner) who said that they didn’t quite have a minimum age.

“How could this be?”, you say. KIDS MODE!

Escapology is an immersive, and always private, escape game where players are gathered inside a themed room and must complete their mission before time runs out. Stepping inside a real-life adventure, they must find hidden clues, crack codes, and solve puzzles to make an escape—all in an hour.

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A Bundle of Nerves: Kids and School Anxiety

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

If you saw Inside Out 2 over the summer, then you know that Anxiety is the main antagonist but not necessarily the villain. The film does a great job explaining this complex emotion and why it has a notable presence in our kids today. Being former gifted kids, we’ve definitely felt academic anxiety in high school; but is this really occurring for our elementary kids?

Fears and worry are typical for kids as they grow and experience the world, especially when it comes to school. A 2023 survey reported that 86% of school-aged children worry, mostly on a regular basis (once a week or more), with majority of their concerns (64%) being school-related.

Although the term anxiety has become a catch-all for any emotion related to apprehension or unease, it’s helpful to know the variations and their differences:

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Playdate Behavior

| Patti Webb

Based on our Playdate Reviews, you know that Mary and I have been doing bi-monthly playdates with our kids for over a year now since they’ve been in the school-age stage. But for the last couple big playdates, I started seeing some patterns.

I feel like what we are seeing is probably similar behavior to what you’ve seen when kids are in groups: talking over each other, getting louder in volume, fighting for attention and showing off, getting jealous, making rash decisions, and going apesh*t when the playdate ends.

At the end of these playdates, I’ve felt like I had to incessantly apologize and abort mission on more than occasion. Baby and toddler playdates are going to have a different vibe, obviously. We are far from the time when we could’ve just hung out with wine while the kids did whatever.

That is not to say that all playdates are like this. I look forward to picking and planning these outings and our kids very much see each other as best friends. So let’s talk about the ups and downs of playdate behavior and what Mary and I have done to stay cool.

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