parenting books

Child(ish) Reads – The Good Mother Myth

| Patti Webb

Right after I gave birth to my girls and we got into somewhat of a routine, it was time for me to return to work. Yes, it’s working from home but my job at the time still included about 10-15% travel. I was planning on tampering off pumping and ending just in time for my first work conference; about 2 months away. I was explaining my travel plans to my mother (who was living with us) and told her that my MIL and SIL were also coming up during that time to help with the babies. She said, “I thought you said you weren’t going to be doing that [traveling for work] anymore. Who’s going to take care of them when you’re gone?”

I was super confused. I had NEVER said that I was going to stop work travel. It was one of the things I loved about my job. In fact, my mother was confused as to why I was even going back to work at all. Keep in mind, I was only going to be gone for 4 days.

First of all, homie’s got bills to pay including student loan debt. Second and this is where I dug deep, the babies have an entire second human who is able to care for them: their father (along with three other people I had already recruited). Of course, she was going to give me the typical he’s-the-one-who-has-to-work spiel, but I hit right back with this:

“I could be a sh*t mom and abandon my kids altogether and I still wouldn’t worry about them because Troy is an amazing father. If he needed to, he would be able to figure it out on his own and be able to raise them just fine without me. That’s how much confidence I have in him.”

She didn’t take too well to that, but having that conversation really made me double down that I would never be the full default parent. That I would reject any societal expectation of a mom because they are in fact bias and full of sh*t. 

Enter The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom by Nancy Reddy. I received an Advance Reader Copy of this book from NetGalley.

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Child(ish) Reads: Raising Empowered Athletes

| Patti Webb

A little backstory for me. I was up in Virginia for work this past fall and was invited to come to my high school crew team’s afternoon practice. I was a crew coxswain for six years; starting in high school, through college and two years in Masters rowing. I’ve sat in on practices, but this was my first time a long while helping novice high school girls.

Crew is an amazing sport when it comes to culture, work ethic, and mental game. But the coach was quick to point out that he wasn’t seeing a lot of physical fitness and strength in this group of girls. While crew was fun and they enjoyed being on the water, they were still very much learning fundamentals and not speed. This is racing after all.

So how do you connect with a young person about being competitive? How do you motivate without turning into a zealous tiger parent? How young does this start?

Raising Empowered Athletes: A Youth Sports Parenting Guide for Raising Happy, Brave, and Resilient Kids by Kirsten Jones. Kirsten, a Hall of Fame DI volleyball player from The College of William and Mary, and fourteen-year NIKE executive, is now a motivational speaker, writer and Peak Performance Coach. Her clients include teen athletes (and their parents), where she helps them learn how to reach their goals and release their limitations. She co-hosts the #RaisingAthletes Podcast with Susie Walton on iTunes and Spotify.

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Child(ish) Reads: Underestimated: The Power and Wisdom of Teenage Girls

| Patti Webb

I jumped on this book so fast.

Luckily, it has a nice little fit for Tuesday’s Throwback post on kids developing Autonomy.  So let’s connect the two, while I share my review and takeaways.

Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls by Chelsey Goodan.

Chelsey Goodan has been an academic tutor and mentor for sixteen years, with a particular emphasis on the empowerment of teenage girls. She speaks regularly to audiences about gender justice, conducts workshops, and coaches parents on how to better understand and connect with their daughters. For this book, she compiles years of working with girls one-on-one and the common threads she has seen in their experience.

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Child(ish) Reads: How to Raise a Healthy Gamer

| Patti Webb

I usually don’t have two book reviews this close…

I received an advance copy of How to Raise a Healthy Gamer and was planning on saving it for May when we have a whole week talking only about video games. I’m only about 70% done with this book, but I think the psychology and framework can be applied to other things besides gaming.

Author Dr. Alok Kanojia introduces himself as a former video game-addicted undergrad who got kicked out of UT Austin for skipping nearly all of his classes. Kanojia then went to a monastery in India when he realized he did indeed have a problem. There, he learned the power of the mind to control his own thoughts (in addition to yoga, meditation and Reiki) and returned to college. He now has a medical degree in Psychiatry.

In addition to being a therapist, Kanojia owns a mental health coaching company called Healthy Gamer that provides resources to overcome video game addiction. The book, How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids, helps parents understand modern video game addiction and work with their kids to create a plan to establish healthy gaming boundaries. It publishes March 12 and is available for pre-order.

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Child(ish) Reads: Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors, Pt. 2

| Patti Webb

Back with Part 2 of our Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors review.

We got into what goes on in our kid’s brain when they are dysregulated and showing bad behavior. But it takes two to tango, and how we react to our kids during the tumult matters.

So here are the parent takeways that help us keep our heads:

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