In part 1 of my Dopamine Kids review, I said that Michaeleen Doucleff’s five-step plan is very easy to implement. She walks through each step and gradually builds the plan with each chapter. Just like a textbook, you read the material in the first section and do the direct application right after.
So for part 2, I’m sharing my family plan and how I’ve adapted the steps for A&Z.
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I was very excited to receive my pre-ordered audiobook of Dopamine Kids by Michaeleen Doucleff. Yes, the same Michaeleen Doucleff from Hunt, Gather, Parent. It has been 5 years since I reviewed that book, and I love how Dopamine Kids fits in so perfectly with all of our Brain-Body posts this month.
Dopamine Kids: A Science-Based Plan to Rewire Your Child’s Brain and Take Back Your Family in the Age of Screens and Ultraprocessed Foods by Michaeleen Doucleff.
Blurb: For the first time in history, we are inundated with “dopamine surges” inside our brains, pulling us to technology and ultraprocessed foods like magnets—every day, many times a day. Over the past decade, neuroscientists have finally begun to figure out how these surges alter our choices, our habits, and even our moods. We’ve learned how dopamine can drive adults and kids to engage in activities that we don’t actually enjoy—activities that can make us feel sad, lonely, anxious, and depressed.
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When I was in college, our rowing team competed at The Head of the Charles in Boston, and a group of us stayed in one of the dorms at Harvard. The girl we stayed with was a friend of some of our rowers and she had a twin brother who also attended Harvard.
So, there’s two high-achieving kids in the same family who are Harvard educated. I found out later that they had triplet younger sisters, all of which excelled in their own respective sports, including rowing and wakeboarding. Later, all five of the siblings would graduate and enter the fields of medicine and public speaking. How? Just… how??
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In December, I usually pick a fun book to review; mostly to whiz through it and have a light-hearted post. This one changed up a bit on me.
Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant: How Nannying for the 1% Taught Me about the Myths of Equality, Motherhood, and Upward Mobility in America by Stephanie Kiser
Blurb: When Stephanie Kiser moves to New York City after college to pursue a career in writing, she quickly learns that her entry-level salary won’t cover the high cost of living―never mind her crushing student loan debt. But there is one in-demand job that pays more than enough to allow Stephanie to stay in the city: nannying for the 1%. Desperate to escape the poverty of her own childhood, Stephanie falls into a job that hijacks her life for the next seven years: a glorified personal assistant to toddlers on Manhattan’s Upper East Side.
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Right after I gave birth to my girls and we got into somewhat of a routine, it was time for me to return to work. Yes, it’s working from home but my job at the time still included about 10-15% travel. I was planning on tampering off pumping and ending just in time for my first work conference; about 2 months away. I was explaining my travel plans to my mother (who was living with us) and told her that my MIL and SIL were also coming up during that time to help with the babies. She said, “I thought you said you weren’t going to be doing that [traveling for work] anymore. Who’s going to take care of them when you’re gone?”
I was super confused. I had NEVER said that I was going to stop work travel. It was one of the things I loved about my job. In fact, my mother was confused as to why I was even going back to work at all. Keep in mind, I was only going to be gone for 4 days.
First of all, homie’s got bills to pay including student loan debt. Second and this is where I dug deep, the babies have an entire second human who is able to care for them: their father (along with three other people I had already recruited). Of course, she was going to give me the typical he’s-the-one-who-has-to-work spiel, but I hit right back with this:
“I could be a sh*t mom and abandon my kids altogether and I still wouldn’t worry about them because Troy is an amazing father. If he needed to, he would be able to figure it out on his own and be able to raise them just fine without me. That’s how much confidence I have in him.”
She didn’t take too well to that, but having that conversation really made me double down that I would never be the full default parent. That I would reject any societal expectation of a mom because they are in fact bias and full of sh*t.
Enter The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom by Nancy Reddy. I received an Advance Reader Copy of this book from NetGalley.
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Child(ish) Advice 