School

Playground Rules: Peers and Social Skills

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L
Image credit: Recess

Parents can only do so much. In our kid’s early childhood, we try our best to teach and model everything they need to know to thrive. But eventually, they need to test their skills in real-life situations, and that’s most likely going to come on the playground.

When parents in the clinic would stress over their child’s social skills, I would say “playground rules,” meaning that kids best learn socialization in a setting with their peers and with limited interference from their parents. While the home serves as a training ground for trial and error, peers provide real-time feedback and refinement of those skills.

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Child(ish) Reads: Raising A Socially Successful Child, Pt. II

| Patti Webb

When we say “socially successful”, we mean making friends. Yes, how our child conducts themselves in public spaces in a way that is socially acceptable is one thing. Manners and etiquette are explicitly taught.

However, making friends is not exactly easy for most. Confidence, self-esteem, temperament; these all factor into the process personally. But then there is the reciprocation, the two-way street. Does this person like me back?

In Raising a Socially Successful Child, Dr. Stephen Nowicki explains the Friendship process; the different stages of how we start and maintain relationships.

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Child(ish) Reads: Raising a Socially Successful Child

| Patti Webb

When I first saw this book, I was interested in the nonverbal communication aspect. Yes, there are lots of parenting books about helping your kids make friends and navigate social circles, but the nonverbal factors gave this book a bit of an OT edge.

Raising a Socially Successful Child: Teaching Kids the Nonverbal Language They Need to Communicate, Connect, and Thrive by Dr. Stephen Nowicki. 

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Repeat After Me: Kids and Modeling Language

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

Kids are like little sponges and they absorb knowledge through observation, exploration, and experience. Learning to communicate and socialize appropriately is no different. From quoting movie lines, repeating encouraging phrases, or even calling us “Bruh”, they soak in everything they hear and try to apply it in everyday conversation whether they fully understand it or not. While their process trial and error can be amusing, it raises the question of how their models (primarily us) can shape their lives, their friendships, attitudes, identities, and their self-esteem and confidence.

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My Own Worst Enemy: Kids and The Defeatist Mentality

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

It can be really heart-breaking (and equally frustrating) when we hear our kids say, “I can’t do it. It’s hard. I quit.” Giving kids challenging tasks can make them take a step back and reassess the situation, but what do we do when these thoughts completely influence their mindset and outlook?

Lately, Patti’s 6-year-old Z has been going through these bouts with reading and writing. If she misspells a word or has trouble sounding out a word, she gets heated, stops trying altogether, and then has a meltdown, claiming that everyone is being mean to her. To add a little detail, her sister and friends are slightly ahead of her in these subjects and she feels like she is either left behind or we’re being too hard on her.

From birth, kids quickly learn new skills and gain the confidence to use them. As they get older, that confidence allows them to trust their own capabilities and bounce back if they’re unsuccessful at something. We know resilience builds after facing setbacks. So, it’s tough to see our kids throw in the towel without trying.

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