I mentioned we would be getting into postpartum depression in Tuesday’s Child(ish) Reads review of Mother Brain. This is essentially Part Two of that review. Since this post is also a Coffee Chat, we wanted to add in our personal postpartum experiences and the outdated/false/damaging thought processes that contribute to the PPD stigma.
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When couples/people/parents find out they are having a baby, a lot of them will sign up for baby bootcamp. It’s pretty much a short class on basic baby care: swaddling, changing a diaper, how to prepare bottles, baby CPR, etc.
What the classes doesn’t prepare you for is how to get ready mentally and emotionally. Pretty much every parenting book I’ve read mentions that there is no formal or informal class for new parents on how to keep themselves regulated, how to create a supportive environment for both baby and parents, how to deal with shortened sleep, how to build that village. Get the picture?
Diving in a little further, how do you breach the topic of parenting with your partner? How do you determine a parenting style together? How do you proactively split duties, support each other, make decisions in the first couple months?
Yes, this a lot to talk about and it does require more than just a “we’ll figure it out when we get there.”
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Your first born is everything. Your mini-me gets all that love and attention without any real competition (except maybe from the dog). But then, your only child becomes a big sibling. As excited as you are to grow your family, you wonder how your kid will be with their new brother/sister. You can’t help but feel guilty knowing that all that time you spent with them will soon be limited with the arrival of a new baby. Despite these worries, the second child is on its way and your first born will be an influence in their little sibling’s life, whether they want one or not.
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Full disclosure: I’ve wanted twins since I first saw Full House in 2nd grade. I thought that having a twin was the most special thing ever. I will always stop and watch The Parent Trap (both versions). But even though I got my life-long wish after 18 months of infertility, I still cried with worry when I found out. How the f*** are we going to do this?
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On August 13th, our family of three gained two new members with the arrival of our twin daughters, H and K.
We are overjoyed to have these girls in our lives, but make no mistake, it has been exhausting these past couple of weeks. We’re learning the personalities of these babies, constantly changing up our routines, and acclimating our son A from being an only child to big brother.
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Child(ish) Advice 