Parenting

Coffee Chat: Old Enough

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

Have you ever seen videos of Asian kids coming home from school? Like this one.

I find these fascinating. Yes, the appliances they have look incredibly simple and efficient (and make me want to buy them), but can we talk about these kids? They seem way too young to be that impressively responsible. I couldn’t picture my 5-year-old prepping dinner or cleaning the house all by himself.

So, when surfing through Netflix shows to binge, I assumed Old Enough was the same thing.

Old Enough (or My First Errand in Japan) is a reality show featuring kids between the ages of 2-5, running their first independent errands throughout town. Despite our initial cringe of SENDING THESE KIDS OUT ON THEIR OWN for the sake of entertainment, their adventures are carefully planned and approved by their families well in advance. If anything were to go wrong (like missing a bus stop or walking home in the dark), the camera and production safety crews are ready to intervene. The show’s intention is to witness and celebrate these little kids as they accomplish something for the very first time. Although the tasks are fairly simple, it’s hard to imagine our own kids taking on the same challenges by themselves with no supervision.

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Autonomy Class

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

A couple weeks ago, we drafted a whole post about boundaries, along with every other parenting content creator on the block. Patti and I went back and forth on what exactly we wanted to say because at this point, “boundaries” is quite the buzzword and we didn’t know if our post actually had anything new to contribute. Emotional boundaries, trust boundaries, “I won’t let you…”, bodily consent, and so on; each with their own nuance and circumstances.

At our kids’ age (toddler to early school age), most of the boundaries we put in place are for personal safety. And why do we have these safety boundaries, besides avoiding the obvious child negligence charge? So that our kids can learn age-appropriate autonomy without harming themselves or people around them. So let’s start from there….

You know when your child refuses to eat what you made for dinner? Or when they put on some mismatched getup instead of the outfit you laid out for them? They’re not trying to be difficult. What you are witnessing is their autonomy at work.

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Coffee Chat: Postpartum Depression

| Patti Webb

I mentioned we would be getting into postpartum depression in Tuesday’s Child(ish) Reads review of Mother Brain. This is essentially Part Two of that review. Since this post is also a Coffee Chat, we wanted to add in our personal postpartum experiences and the outdated/false/damaging thought processes that contribute to the PPD stigma.

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Child(ish) Reads: Mother Brain

| Patti Webb

One of the things we love writing about at Child(ish) Advice is not only the practice of parenting but the science behind it. When Mother Brain popped up in my forthcoming Audible titles, I immediately pre-ordered it. A perfect title that fit right into our wheelhouse.

This book explores how children physiologically alter our brain. People have been giving birth and having families for thousands of years and yet we have a societal expectation that runs contrary to how we biologically adapt postpartum. Part-science, part statement; this book brings some much needed knowledge to how we care for ourselves post-baby.

Mother Brain: How Neuroscience Is Rewriting the Story of Parenthood by Chelsea Conaboy

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Treat Yourself: Sensory Valentine

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

On Pinterest, there are hundreds of links on how to make a sensory bin or do sensory activities for your kids. We know through all of our OT-forward wisdom that it is important to integrate sensory components in your child’s development. But what about us?

Our adult sensory system allows us to regulate our arousal levels to appropriately engage and complete our daily routine. When we ignore what our body is seeking in order to make it through the day, we can become agitated or distracted and those nearest and dearest become unfortunate casualties (sorry spouse).

We’re starting to hate the phrase “self-care” because it’s turned into all this noise about buying stuff and going to spas. This is called “prescribed balance”; it’s all of these things that society says we should do because it’s supposed to help us fix ourselves. In reality, it’s just another to-do list unless you are actually listening to what your body needs.

Those little things—from the smell of pancakes and bacon in the morning, to feeling the cool breeze during an evening stroll, to snuggling up under the covers while reading a good book—all have a sensory component and can be the unsung heroes of our own recovery. Here are some sensory suggestions to help you reset your happy.

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