Every October, people flock to the pumpkin patch to find the perfect gourd to slice into to become a Halloween jack-o’-lantern. What kind of sick tradition is this? I mean, what did a pumpkin ever do to deserve this? Turns out this Halloween tradition was brought to us by European immigrants, dating back to a centuries-old Irish tale of a man named Stingy Jack.
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“Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep.” – Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Remember when you were a kid, you watched a horror film you probably shouldn’t have and from then on, your dreams were nothing but nightmares? Yeah, that happened to me, and that movie was Child’s Play.
The truth is kids will experience their version of a Freddy Krueger dreamscape regardless of whether they see a scary movie or not. In fact, nightmares are part of typical child development as they process what they have observed and experienced in their world thus far. But does it have to be in the form of bad dreams?
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“Eat dinner as a family”, they said.
“It’ll help boost morale and connection with your kids,” they said.
“It’ll be a great time had by all,” they said.
Then why do we feel like we’re banging our heads up against the wall when our kid’s behavior and manners at the table are like a scene out of Gremlins? Well, no one said it was going to be easy (and if they did, they are liars).
Family dinners have been a cultural norm in the US for decades. But all those wholesome Norman Rockwell scenes of sitting together and politely eating a meal are not the realities of what we ACTUALLY experience on a daily basis right now. In fact, it’s quite the opposite (kids getting in and out of chairs, refusing to eat their food, spills/messes on the floor, you and your spouse trying to talk over the calamity, etc).
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The first few weeks of school can be a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde situation. Your kid’s teacher tells you they’re doing great at school, making friends, paying attention, all that good stuff. But that’s not what you see when you get home. In fact, you get quite the opposite (screaming, crying, perfect storms). So, what in the T. Swift is going on?
Turns out that these fits and meltdowns are typical, so typical that it even gets its own special name: After-school restraint collapse. Originally coined by counselor and parenting expert Andrea Loewen Nair, it refers to a child’s emotional, mental, and physical release once their school day is over. School is regimented with rules to follow and lessons to learn, plus picking up all the social cues and expectations from classmates and teachers; all requiring mental stamina and self-control. So once our kids hop in the car or get off the bus, they start to decompress in whatever form they see fit.
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Things to do before the school year starts:
It’s not easy getting your kid back into routine after summer vacation, especially when sunset is well past 8pm. There’s a reason for that. It’s the same reason we feel energized, tired, or hungry throughout the day. It’s our circadian rhythm.
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Child(ish) Advice 