Author: Patti Webb

Child(ish) Reads – The Good Mother Myth

| Patti Webb

Right after I gave birth to my girls and we got into somewhat of a routine, it was time for me to return to work. Yes, it’s working from home but my job at the time still included about 10-15% travel. I was planning on tampering off pumping and ending just in time for my first work conference; about 2 months away. I was explaining my travel plans to my mother (who was living with us) and told her that my MIL and SIL were also coming up during that time to help with the babies. She said, “I thought you said you weren’t going to be doing that [traveling for work] anymore. Who’s going to take care of them when you’re gone?”

I was super confused. I had NEVER said that I was going to stop work travel. It was one of the things I loved about my job. In fact, my mother was confused as to why I was even going back to work at all. Keep in mind, I was only going to be gone for 4 days.

First of all, homie’s got bills to pay including student loan debt. Second and this is where I dug deep, the babies have an entire second human who is able to care for them: their father (along with three other people I had already recruited). Of course, she was going to give me the typical he’s-the-one-who-has-to-work spiel, but I hit right back with this:

“I could be a sh*t mom and abandon my kids altogether and I still wouldn’t worry about them because Troy is an amazing father. If he needed to, he would be able to figure it out on his own and be able to raise them just fine without me. That’s how much confidence I have in him.”

She didn’t take too well to that, but having that conversation really made me double down that I would never be the full default parent. That I would reject any societal expectation of a mom because they are in fact bias and full of sh*t. 

Enter The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom by Nancy Reddy. I received an Advance Reader Copy of this book from NetGalley.

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Our Rage Room Mom date

| Patti Webb

Yay! New blog feature.

We’ve written extensively on PPD and how important it is for moms to take time for themselves. This recharges our social battery and keeps us balanced, so our entire lives aren’t completely ruled by our kids.

Looking forward, I came across a teen parenting account that said that one of the reasons teens stop looking to their parents for advice and quality time is because their parents aren’t fun. During high school, my parents never really had friends. They would work, make dinner, and watch something on the couch…every…damn…night. I love an introverted bed rot, but seriously no other people anywhere in the radar? Not even a best friend that I’ve ever heard of?

I feel like most of the parents I appreciated growing up were those that had their own social lives; they played more roles than just being a parent or an employee. They had interests and hobbies and would go out for girls nights. Their personal schedules were just as involved as their kids’. Overall, I feel like their homes were just lighter; and consequently, their villages were bigger.

So, Mary and I would like to propose a trade. We will exchange two playdate reviews, for two Mom date reviews. We love doing fun stuff with our kids, but we’d also like to try out some fun, new things that are a little more age-appropriate for us.

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Child(ish) Reads: Raising A Socially Successful Child, Pt. II

| Patti Webb

When we say “socially successful”, we mean making friends. Yes, how our child conducts themselves in public spaces in a way that is socially acceptable is one thing. Manners and etiquette are explicitly taught.

However, making friends is not exactly easy for most. Confidence, self-esteem, temperament; these all factor into the process personally. But then there is the reciprocation, the two-way street. Does this person like me back?

In Raising a Socially Successful Child, Dr. Stephen Nowicki explains the Friendship process; the different stages of how we start and maintain relationships.

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Child(ish) Reads: Raising a Socially Successful Child

| Patti Webb

When I first saw this book, I was interested in the nonverbal communication aspect. Yes, there are lots of parenting books about helping your kids make friends and navigate social circles, but the nonverbal factors gave this book a bit of an OT edge.

Raising a Socially Successful Child: Teaching Kids the Nonverbal Language They Need to Communicate, Connect, and Thrive by Dr. Stephen Nowicki. 

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Child(ish) Reads: Raising Empowered Athletes

| Patti Webb

A little backstory for me. I was up in Virginia for work this past fall and was invited to come to my high school crew team’s afternoon practice. I was a crew coxswain for six years; starting in high school, through college and two years in Masters rowing. I’ve sat in on practices, but this was my first time a long while helping novice high school girls.

Crew is an amazing sport when it comes to culture, work ethic, and mental game. But the coach was quick to point out that he wasn’t seeing a lot of physical fitness and strength in this group of girls. While crew was fun and they enjoyed being on the water, they were still very much learning fundamentals and not speed. This is racing after all.

So how do you connect with a young person about being competitive? How do you motivate without turning into a zealous tiger parent? How young does this start?

Raising Empowered Athletes: A Youth Sports Parenting Guide for Raising Happy, Brave, and Resilient Kids by Kirsten Jones. Kirsten, a Hall of Fame DI volleyball player from The College of William and Mary, and fourteen-year NIKE executive, is now a motivational speaker, writer and Peak Performance Coach. Her clients include teen athletes (and their parents), where she helps them learn how to reach their goals and release their limitations. She co-hosts the #RaisingAthletes Podcast with Susie Walton on iTunes and Spotify.

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