student behavior

I thought it relevant and a natural extension to the big, baffling behavior conversation to talk about our kid’s behavior at school. While our kids are at school, they are 100% out of our control and that can be nerve-wracking.

I would be mortified if our kids acted at school the way they act at home. Not to say that their behavior is particularly bad or challenging; they are fairly typical but today’s breakfast outburst was super annoying. I think we all have a fear that our kid is going to cry/scream/throw themselves on the floor on the daily when we’re not there.

We’ve also been told that bad behavior at home is age-appropriate. It means that your kid is comfortable enough to lose their sh*t with you. But a kid who misbehaves at school means that the kid is in fight/fright/flight mode with parents and this is indicative of problems at home. The reverse psychology of it has us feeling like any hiccup is a direct sign of bad parenting.

So what do we do and what role does the school environment and teacher play?

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When my son was three years old, his teachers expressed concerns about his behavior in class. He wasn’t following directions, had a tough time staying seated during circle time, and was distracting his classmates. With all of the other kids in the class, they were having a difficult time dealing with my son and unsure how to handle him. End story.
What? That’s it? That’s all you have to say?

With this news, a rush of anxiety came flooding in.
OMG, they think he’s a bad kid.
Does he have ADHD?
Am I a bad parent?

I know that other parents have these kinds of talks with their kid’s teachers, doctors, counselors; and more times than not, that is the end of the conversation. But it doesn’t have to be.

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