This year will be the fourth year in our elementary school, with A&Z starting second grade. I definitely thought this year was going to be old hat, but of course something new pops up that wasn’t even on my radar.
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Where do I even begin?
Following up from my school update earlier this month, our school board made the difficult decision to close our neighborhood elementary school. That left us starting fresh at a new school. Thanks to the meet-and-greet, we had a general sense of what was coming. But nothing could have prepared us for the chaos of day one.
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Humans are social creatures. For that reason alone, the way we engage and connect with others in different social contexts is an important occupation in everyday life. In occupational therapy, social participation refers to meaningful interactions with others in ways that foster emotional growth and confidence. For kids, it shows up in how they play with peers, take part in school and group activities, and how they form and maintain friendships.
Social skills span a wide and nuanced range of abilities that are a fundamental component of social participation. When it comes to friendships, they hinge on a set of social-emotional traits that help kids connect, resolve conflict, and build trust over time. These include:
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There are three types of people in this world: sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. – Wayne Kyle, American Sniper
My husband has used this analogy to explain certain types of people to our son ever since he was little. Granted, it is an oversimplified explanation of human nature, but it gets the point across. In our version of the metaphor, sheep are those who cannot defend themselves when harm comes their way, wolves take advantage of their vulnerability, and the sheepdog stands up and protects the sheep. It’s a visual way to tell him to be a decent human and not be a d*ck.
While our son has long understood this concept, it’s becoming harder for him to follow. In fact, it feels like he’s exhibiting more wolf-like behavior these days. Turns out the shift between sheepdog and wolf mirrors the growing complexity of his social circle and how kids his age are dealing with the next level of social skills and challenges.
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Parents can only do so much. In our kid’s early childhood, we try our best to teach and model everything they need to know to thrive. But eventually, they need to test their skills in real-life situations, and that’s most likely going to come on the playground.
When parents in the clinic would stress over their child’s social skills, I would say “playground rules,” meaning that kids best learn socialization in a setting with their peers and with limited interference from their parents. While the home serves as a training ground for trial and error, peers provide real-time feedback and refinement of those skills.
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Child(ish) Advice 