Empathy

The Sheep, the Wolf, and the Sheepdog: Kids and Peers

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

There are three types of people in this world: sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. – Wayne Kyle, American Sniper

My husband has used this analogy to explain certain types of people to our son ever since he was little. Granted, it is an oversimplified explanation of human nature, but it gets the point across. In our version of the metaphor, sheep are those who cannot defend themselves when harm comes their way, wolves take advantage of their vulnerability, and the sheepdog stands up and protects the sheep. It’s a visual way to tell him to be a decent human and not be a d*ck.

 While our son has long understood this concept, it’s becoming harder for him to follow. In fact, it feels like he’s exhibiting more wolf-like behavior these days. Turns out the shift between sheepdog and wolf mirrors the growing complexity of his social circle and how kids his age are dealing with the next level of social skills and challenges.

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Child(ish) Review: Win Or Lose

| Patti Webb

Leave it to Pixar to effortlessly explain complex situations to kids. In the new long-form animated series Win or Lose, their animation team delivers the concept of “Everyone is going through something you have no idea about”.

The show centers around The Pickles, a middle school co-ed softball team in the week leading up to their big championship game. Each episode focuses on an individual character’s point of view and how their personal lives shape their perception of the team, school, and home. Laurie, the coach’s daughter, stresses over how to contribute to the team and make her father proud. Kai, the star player, pushes herself to the limits to avoid her dad’s criticism. Rochelle does whatever to make money so she can play next season. The series explores how different characters grapple with pressure and insecurity – whether it’s to seek approval, perfection, or stability.

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Course Notes: Social and Emotional Development, pt.2

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

Social and emotional development involves gaining the capacity to understand, manage, and express. One way to guide its growth is with social and emotional learning (SEL). While this systematic approach is often seen in educational settings, it can be applied across the lifespan.

There are five competencies in this area, also known as the CASEL 5. They are:

  • Self-awareness – recognize one’s own emotions/thoughts/interests/values, how these qualities influence actions, as well as maintaining a positive self-view and belief in abilties
  • Self-management – regulate emotions/thoughts/behaviors in different situations, handle stress and resist urges, and set goals
  • Social awareness – understand subtle social/cultural rules and norms, considers other perspectives, show respect and empathy towards others
  • Relationship skills – establish and maintain relationships with others, resist negative social pressure, work well with others, prevent and solve conflicts with others, seek help when needed
  • Responsible decision making – accurately identify and evaluate problems, make decisions based on ethical and social norms, consider context when making decisions, contribute positively to the community

These skills enable us to maintain a healthy self-perception, manage stress effectively, comprehend others, and collaborate to support the community.

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The Art of Giving

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

November seems to be the month where we think of others. Donation drives and asking for wish lists become the season’s norm. But, as much as WE understand the concept of giving to others, do our kids know what it means to be generous to one another?

Generosity is the act of improving another person’s well-being without seeking some form of compensation in return. It’s the sensitivity and empathy we offer others; something we want our kids to experience first-hand.

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Child(ish) Reads: Unselfie

| Patti Webb

There are a ton of articles about the major differences between Boomers, Millennials, Gen X and Gen Z; and how social media and screen time have driven huge cultural and sociological shifts. Now that Millennials are becoming parents, we have a very real fear: Fear that our kids could grow up to be really self-centered a**holes.

I think our most recent election is a prime example of how empathy influences our actions, our representatives, and our policies moving forward.

Here are some quick facts:

  1. Empathy means a person can recognize, understand and express their own emotions, as well as be attune to the emotions of others. Not just having touchy-feely feelings.
  2. Girls are more likely to be empathetic because parents talk about feelings more openly with daughters than with sons.
  3. Many people blame social media and screens for creating narcissistic zombie kids, but there is much, much more to the rising empathy gap.

Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World
By Michele Borba, Ed.D.

Instead of giving you a play-by-play review of this great book, I want to talk about the things that stuck with me; the great content that not only will help me raise my daughters for the future, but also can shed light on many adults in the present.

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