brain

We are constantly fascinated by the brain and how it shapes behavior. Our chats about what is going on in our kids’ heads led to our last posts about the boy, girl, and even ADHD brain. So naturally as moms to twins, we turned our attention to twin neurobiology.

Twin brains seem to operate in a world of their own. It’s almost like one brain expressed through two distinct personalities. For example, my daughter H leans into logic and reasoning, while K brings emotional depth and creativity. Together as identical twins, they feel like complementary halves of a shared whole. My husband and I have also seen moments that defy explanation: one twin tearing up when the other gets hurt, or both making the same gesture at the exact same time. It’s weird, but it’s pretty cool.

Patti having fraternal twins, their brains are less complementary but more like synergistic sound boards. As they learn, they take cues from each other, speeding up their understanding and sometimes their competitiveness.

It naturally leads to the question: Are twin brains wired differently than singleton ones?
In some ways, yes. In others, not quite.

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While working at a pediatric clinic, seasoned therapists often noted that boys responded best to clear expectations and consistent consequences, while girls benefited more from patience, emotional connection, and time to process instructions and feelings.

When I was just starting out, I assumed all kids processed things the same and saw girls’ need for patience as coddling. For context, I was raised in an Asian household where emotions were seen more as a weakness than an asset. So, if you had to cry, go outside.

With time however, I realized I was wrong. It wasn’t that they didn’t understand the task; it was that they wanted to get it right so badly. Sometimes they’d miss the mark on the first try, or they’d misread my tone and think I was upset with them. Other times, they were simply grappling with the fact that there was no room to negotiate the task or the consequence. What they needed wasn’t leniency—it was time, clarity, and emotional safety. Check out this IG video.

We know that boy and girl brains are different, but what are the actual characteristics a girl brain and makes it’s learning processes distinct from its male counterpart?

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