academic performance

The Girl Brain

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

While working at a pediatric clinic, seasoned therapists often noted that boys responded best to clear expectations and consistent consequences, while girls benefited more from patience, emotional connection, and time to process instructions and feelings.

When I was just starting out, I assumed all kids processed things the same and saw girls’ need for patience as coddling. For context, I was raised in an Asian household where emotions were seen more as a weakness than an asset. So, if you had to cry, go outside.  

With time however, I realized I was wrong. It wasn’t that they didn’t understand the task; it was that they wanted to get it right so badly. Sometimes they’d miss the mark on the first try, or they’d misread my tone and think I was upset with them. Other times, they were simply grappling with the fact that there was no room to negotiate the task or the consequence. What they needed wasn’t leniency—it was time, clarity, and emotional safety. Check out this IG video.

We know that boy and girl brains are different, but what are the actual characteristics a girl brain and makes it’s learning processes distinct from its male counterpart?  

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The Boy Brain

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

Ever since my son was in daycare, I’ve heard “boys will be boys” tossed around. This was mostly to explain his energetic, impulsive behavior, especially during play or social interactions. I’ve never liked that saying. It felt like a shrug, an excuse, as if rough-and-tumble behavior is inevitable or exclusively male. And let’s be honest, girls can stir up just as much chaos as their male peers.

But as he moved into elementary school, the patterns became harder to ignore. More boys in his grade were on medication for ADHD. More boys were getting flagged for disruptive behavior. The gap wasn’t just anecdotal anymore. It was showing up in classroom dynamics, discipline charts, and parent-teacher conferences.

Recent research confirms that there are differences between male and female brains, but I keep wondering: Are those differences present before puberty? And if they are, how much do they actually shape the way boys and girls learn, connect, and navigate the world around them?

In this two-part series, we’ll explore how brain development may diverge between boys and girls, and how we can best support them as parents as they grow. First up: The boy brain.

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Coffee Chat: The Sideline(d) Parent

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

Third grade really is a pivotal year—not just academically, but emotionally and socially— and in all the subtle ways, kids start stepping into themselves. It’s not just the shift in classroom expectations; it’s everything else.

This fall, my son joined kid-pitch baseball for the first time. He practiced endlessly on his pitching, determined to take the mound —and he did. Watching him struggle through his first inning, knowing I couldn’t step in or give him a quick pep talk between batters, was a moment that mirrored so much of what this school year has felt like so far.

And now, there’s the new line I hear more often from him: “I know, Mom.” It’s a small phrase, but it carries the weight of his growing away and me slowly finding myself on the sidelines. While I know this was bound to happen (our kids can’t stay little forever), it doesn’t make this quiet shift any easier.

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You’re On Your Own, Kid: Navigating the 3rd Grade Transition

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

The jump from 2nd to 3rd grade is considered the first big “Academic Transition”. The other two academic transitions are the jump from elementary to middle school, and the jump from middle to high school. These academic transitions are so aptly named because of the increased workload and subject matter difficulty, as well as the higher expectations of emotional maturity, personal responsibility, and independence.

Think about it. Kids aren’t doing circle time anymore to start their day. They aren’t reminded to use the bathroom or hold hands with their partners on a field trip. Kids are actually graded by the quality of work they submit, not just a check or check plus for completion.

My son is in third grade this year, and I can feel the pressure. Each week brings homework and a steady stream of graded material—whether it’s a practice sheet, a quiz, or a formal test. On top of that, he’ll be taking the Georgia Measurement Assessment System (GMAS) for the first time. It’s hard not to feel like everything rides on this one year.

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Patti’s Three-Week Check-In

| Patti Webb

This year will be the fourth year in our elementary school, with A&Z starting second grade. I definitely thought this year was going to be old hat, but of course something new pops up that wasn’t even on my radar. 

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