Child(ish) Reads – The Good Mother Myth

| Patti Webb

Right after I gave birth to my girls and we got into somewhat of a routine, it was time for me to return to work. Yes, it’s working from home but my job at the time still included about 10-15% travel. I was planning on tampering off pumping and ending just in time for my first work conference; about 2 months away. I was explaining my travel plans to my mother (who was living with us) and told her that my MIL and SIL were also coming up during that time to help with the babies. She said, “I thought you said you weren’t going to be doing that [traveling for work] anymore. Who’s going to take care of them when you’re gone?”

I was super confused. I had NEVER said that I was going to stop work travel. It was one of the things I loved about my job. In fact, my mother was confused as to why I was even going back to work at all. Keep in mind, I was only going to be gone for 4 days.

First of all, homie’s got bills to pay including student loan debt. Second and this is where I dug deep, the babies have an entire second human who is able to care for them: their father (along with three other people I had already recruited). Of course, she was going to give me the typical he’s-the-one-who-has-to-work spiel, but I hit right back with this:

“I could be a sh*t mom and abandon my kids altogether and I still wouldn’t worry about them because Troy is an amazing father. If he needed to, he would be able to figure it out on his own and be able to raise them just fine without me. That’s how much confidence I have in him.”

She didn’t take too well to that, but having that conversation really made me double down that I would never be the full default parent. That I would reject any societal expectation of a mom because they are in fact bias and full of sh*t. 

Enter The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom by Nancy Reddy. I received an Advance Reader Copy of this book from NetGalley.

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The Baby Registry – 5 Years Later

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

It’s incredible how much can change in just five years! When Patti and I first stepped into parenthood, the landscape of baby essentials looked entirely different. The must-have items evolved. Mamaroos became less of a must-have while baby slings took center stage. Even the reigning travel system brands, Britax and Baby Jogger, have made way for newer favorites like Doona and UPPAbaby. Also, an RIP moment for our beloved (and recalled) Fisher Price Rock and Play sleeper.

Yet, despite the shifting trends, one truth remains: babies need stuff. But what exactly do they need, and how much of it is truly essential? The answer is often subjective and changes if you get to your second or third pregnancy. That’s why for this post, we’re doing a refresh—what baby items proved indispensable, what turned out to be unnecessary, and the unexpected game-changers that saved the day.

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Cry Baby: Baby Cries and Language Development

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

Babies cry. Period.

For those first few months, newborns sound the alarm every time they feel slightly off kilter. As a new parent, it can be rough trying to decipher what your baby needs. Regardless of how many parenting books you may read, decoding cries doesn’t necessarily come with textbook instructions

Crying is the first and most important form of communication infants have with their parents and caregivers. Their entire survival depends on it. The first two months of life, their cries intensify, peaking between 6 to 8 weeks before significantly decreasing by 3 to 4 months of age. This decline aligns with key developmental milestones, such the emergence of self-soothing behaviors (sucking fingers to turning head away when overstimulated), vocalizations (cooing and babbling), and motor skills (reaching, grasping, pushing up onto elbows and forearms during tummy time).

Although it can be tough to handle your baby’s cries, especially in the moment, there’s always a rhyme and reason behind them. Every cry is a way of communicating a need.

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