Child(ish) Reads: Raising A Socially Successful Child, Pt. II

When we say “socially successful”, we mean making friends. Yes, how our child conducts themselves in public spaces in a way that is socially acceptable is one thing. Manners and etiquette are explicitly taught.

However, making friends is not exactly easy for most. Confidence, self-esteem, temperament; these all factor into the process personally. But then there is the reciprocation, the two-way street. Does this person like me back?

In Raising a Socially Successful Child, Dr. Stephen Nowicki explains the Friendship process; the different stages of how we start and maintain relationships.

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Child(ish) Reads: Raising a Socially Successful Child

When I first saw this book, I was interested in the nonverbal communication aspect. Yes, there are lots of parenting books about helping your kids make friends and navigate social circles, but the nonverbal factors gave this book a bit of an OT edge.

Raising a Socially Successful Child: Teaching Kids the Nonverbal Language They Need to Communicate, Connect, and Thrive by Dr. Stephen Nowicki. 

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Repeat After Me: Kids and Modeling Language

Kids are like little sponges and they absorb knowledge through observation, exploration, and experience. Learning to communicate and socialize appropriately is no different. From quoting movie lines, repeating encouraging phrases, or even calling us “Bruh”, they soak in everything they hear and try to apply it in everyday conversation whether they fully understand it or not. While their process trial and error can be amusing, it raises the question of how their models (primarily us) can shape their lives, their friendships, attitudes, identities, and their self-esteem and confidence.

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Course Notes: Social and Emotional Development, pt.2

Social and emotional development involves gaining the capacity to understand, manage, and express. One way to guide its growth is with social and emotional learning (SEL). While this systematic approach is often seen in educational settings, it can be applied across the lifespan.

There are five competencies in this area, also known as the CASEL 5. They are:

  • Self-awareness – recognize one’s own emotions/thoughts/interests/values, how these qualities influence actions, as well as maintaining a positive self-view and belief in abilties
  • Self-management – regulate emotions/thoughts/behaviors in different situations, handle stress and resist urges, and set goals
  • Social awareness understand subtle social/cultural rules and norms, considers other perspectives, show respect and empathy towards others
  • Relationship skills – establish and maintain relationships with others, resist negative social pressure, work well with others, prevent and solve conflicts with others, seek help when needed
  • Responsible decision making – accurately identify and evaluate problems, make decisions based on ethical and social norms, consider context when making decisions, contribute positively to the community

These skills enable us to maintain a healthy self-perception, manage stress effectively, comprehend others, and collaborate to support the community.

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Child(ish) Reads: Raising Empowered Athletes

A little backstory for me. I was up in Virginia for work this past fall and was invited to come to my high school crew team’s afternoon practice. I was a crew coxswain for six years; starting in high school, through college and two years in Masters rowing. I’ve sat in on practices, but this was my first time a long while helping novice high school girls.

Crew is an amazing sport when it comes to culture, work ethic, and mental game. But the coach was quick to point out that he wasn’t seeing a lot of physical fitness and strength in this group of girls. While crew was fun and they enjoyed being on the water, they were still very much learning fundamentals and not speed. This is racing after all.

So how do you connect with a young person about being competitive? How do you motivate without turning into a zealous tiger parent? How young does this start?

Raising Empowered Athletes: A Youth Sports Parenting Guide for Raising Happy, Brave, and Resilient Kids by Kirsten Jones. Kirsten, a Hall of Fame DI volleyball player from The College of William and Mary, and fourteen-year NIKE executive, is now a motivational speaker, writer and Peak Performance Coach. Her clients include teen athletes (and their parents), where she helps them learn how to reach their goals and release their limitations. She co-hosts the #RaisingAthletes Podcast with Susie Walton on iTunes and Spotify.

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