Parenting

Double, Double, Toil and Trouble: Twin Identities

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

Aunt Agatha: I have Lynn!
Kelly Farmer: I’m Kelly!
Aunt Agatha: Oh, whoever. I have your sister! If you care about her, you’ll give yourself up now!

Twins are often seen as a packaged deal, especially if they are identical. You can’t say Mary-Kate without thinking about Ashley Olsen, or Tia and Tamara Mowry. Even my own twins are known at school simply as “the twins” or “H and K.”

Mix-ups and mistaken identities are common; and while they may seem harmless, these moments subtly shape how twins see themselves and relate to others. That’s why it’s so important for parents to recognize each twin as a unique individual, with their own personality, behavior, and strengths. This isn’t always easy as physical resemblance, emotional closeness, and family dynamic can make individuality harder to nurture. Factor in the reality that they’ve had a constant companion since the womb, and the journey toward individuality becomes even more layered.

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Don’t Scream, It’s just the Class Clown

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

Sidney: Stu, Stu, what’s your motive? Billy’s got one, the police are on their way, what are you gonna tell them?

Stu: “Peer pressure. I’m far too sensitive.”

Oh, Stu Macher. Not only was he part of the very first Ghostface duo, but he’s also the ultimate class clown. Loud, impulsive, and constantly cracking jokes, Stu masks chaos with charisma. But beneath the blood and comic relief lies something eerily familiar: The emotional blueprint of a kid who uses humor to connect, deflect, and survive.

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Child(ish) Reads: This is So Awkward

| Patti Webb

It’s now October and we usually try to work in our fun, tongue-in-cheek tone throughout for Halloween. The book I picked out for today was an Advance Reader I got from NetGalley (again, tragically late for a review), and as Mary and I started talking about it, it became a little…scary.

This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained by Cara Natterson MD and Vanessa Kroll Bennett.

Here’s the blurb: Almost everything about puberty has changed since today’s adults went through it. It starts, on average, two years earlier and stretches through high school . . . and for some, beyond. Gens Z and Alpha are also contending with a whole host of thorny issues that parents didn’t experience in their own youth but nonetheless need to understand: everything from social media and easy-access pornography to gender identities and new or newly-potent drugs. Talking about any of this is like puberty itself: Awkward! But it’s also critical for the health, happiness, and safety of today’s kids.

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The Twin Brain

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

We are constantly fascinated by the brain and how it shapes behavior. Our chats about what is going on in our kids’ heads led to our last posts about the boy, girl, and even ADHD brain. So naturally as moms to twins, we turned our attention to twin neurobiology.

Twin brains seem to operate in a world of their own. It’s almost like one brain expressed through two distinct personalities. For example, my daughter H leans into logic and reasoning, while K brings emotional depth and creativity. Together as identical twins, they feel like complementary halves of a shared whole. My husband and I have also seen moments that defy explanation: one twin tearing up when the other gets hurt, or both making the same gesture at the exact same time. It’s weird, but it’s pretty cool.

Patti having fraternal twins, their brains are less complementary but more like synergistic sound boards. As they learn, they take cues from each other, speeding up their understanding and sometimes their competitiveness.

It naturally leads to the question: Are twin brains wired differently than singleton ones?
In some ways, yes. In others, not quite.

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Coffee Chat: The Sideline(d) Parent

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

Third grade really is a pivotal year—not just academically, but emotionally and socially— and in all the subtle ways, kids start stepping into themselves. It’s not just the shift in classroom expectations; it’s everything else.

This fall, my son joined kid-pitch baseball for the first time. He practiced endlessly on his pitching, determined to take the mound —and he did. Watching him struggle through his first inning, knowing I couldn’t step in or give him a quick pep talk between batters, was a moment that mirrored so much of what this school year has felt like so far.

And now, there’s the new line I hear more often from him: “I know, Mom.” It’s a small phrase, but it carries the weight of his growing away and me slowly finding myself on the sidelines. While I know this was bound to happen (our kids can’t stay little forever), it doesn’t make this quiet shift any easier.

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