Parenting

Coffee Chat: Redshirting

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

The Georgia pre-k lottery is in full effect, but my husband and I have been dealing with the decision to redshirt our twin girls for a while. They are August babies, born very near the September 1 cutoff. I’m admittedly a little jealous of parents with September-June babies, because this is something that they most likely don’t even have to consider.

We have talked at length between ourselves and with friends/family, in addition to reading a bunch of research and studies, to figure out if giving the girls “the gift of time” is the best option for them. I’ll tell ya, even after all that data collection, the verdict was still not cut and dry. 

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Child(ish) Reads: How to Raise a Healthy Gamer

| Patti Webb

I usually don’t have two book reviews this close…

I received an advance copy of How to Raise a Healthy Gamer and was planning on saving it for May when we have a whole week talking only about video games. I’m only about 70% done with this book, but I think the psychology and framework can be applied to other things besides gaming.

Author Dr. Alok Kanojia introduces himself as a former video game-addicted undergrad who got kicked out of UT Austin for skipping nearly all of his classes. Kanojia then went to a monastery in India when he realized he did indeed have a problem. There, he learned the power of the mind to control his own thoughts (in addition to yoga, meditation and Reiki) and returned to college. He now has a medical degree in Psychiatry.

In addition to being a therapist, Kanojia owns a mental health coaching company called Healthy Gamer that provides resources to overcome video game addiction. The book, How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids, helps parents understand modern video game addiction and work with their kids to create a plan to establish healthy gaming boundaries. It publishes March 12 and is available for pre-order.

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Playdate Behavior

| Patti Webb

Based on our Playdate Reviews, you know that Mary and I have been doing bi-monthly playdates with our kids for over a year now since they’ve been in the school-age stage. But for the last couple big playdates, I started seeing some patterns.

I feel like what we are seeing is probably similar behavior to what you’ve seen when kids are in groups: talking over each other, getting louder in volume, fighting for attention and showing off, getting jealous, making rash decisions, and going apesh*t when the playdate ends.

At the end of these playdates, I’ve felt like I had to incessantly apologize and abort mission on more than occasion. Baby and toddler playdates are going to have a different vibe, obviously. We are far from the time when we could’ve just hung out with wine while the kids did whatever.

That is not to say that all playdates are like this. I look forward to picking and planning these outings and our kids very much see each other as best friends. So let’s talk about the ups and downs of playdate behavior and what Mary and I have done to stay cool.

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Coffee Chat: Challenging Behavior at School

| Patti Webb

I thought it relevant and a natural extension to the big, baffling behavior conversation to talk about our kid’s behavior at school. While our kids are at school, they are 100% out of our control and that can be nerve-wracking.

I would be mortified if our kids acted at school the way they act at home. Not to say that their behavior is particularly bad or challenging; they are fairly typical but today’s breakfast outburst was super annoying. I think we all have a fear that our kid is going to cry/scream/throw themselves on the floor on the daily when we’re not there.

We’ve also been told that bad behavior at home is age-appropriate. It means that your kid is comfortable enough to lose their sh*t with you. But a kid who misbehaves at school means that the kid is in fight/fright/flight mode with parents and this is indicative of problems at home. The reverse psychology of it has us feeling like any hiccup is a direct sign of bad parenting.

So what do we do and what role does the school environment and teacher play?

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Child(ish) Reads: Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors, Pt. 2

| Patti Webb

Back with Part 2 of our Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors review.

We got into what goes on in our kid’s brain when they are dysregulated and showing bad behavior. But it takes two to tango, and how we react to our kids during the tumult matters.

So here are the parent takeways that help us keep our heads:

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