Author: Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

The Self-Aware Parent

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

Do you remember being a teenager and getting into arguments with your parents?
There would be yelling, and it would escalate and you would throw out the “I can’t wait until I’m 18 and out of this house.”
Then, they would one-up you by firing back with “Yeah? Well, when you’re a parent, I hope your kid is just. like. you.”

One thing I’ve noticed about being a Millennial parent is that our generation strives to be the caregivers we wanted to have growing up. It might be a by-product of social media or more access to information, but it’s like we can see in real-time exactly how our parenting is affected by how we were parented. There is a lot of call and desire to break the generational traumas by healing our personal childhood wounds and investing the time and effort to make our children feel loved, whole, and understood.

That task we place upon ourselves is no easy feat. Much of how we parent has been laid out by our parents and their parents before them (and so on) and we don’t really recognize that stuck cycle until we catch ourselves saying the same lines or doing the same harmful actions. So, are we any different from our parents and how can we break the negative cycle?

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What Makes a Good Parent?

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

We all know that parenting is not for the faint of heart. Parenting is a skill developed over time and is influenced by many, many factors. We know families have tough days and we know to take people’s perfect Instagram feeds with a grain of salt. But whether you have kids, are planning to, or are watching from the sidelines, we all have our opinions on what good parenting looks like; and sadly, we are prone to judge.

We look at kids and how they behave, and we assume it’s because of parenting. We may witness a child have a tough moment and depending on how their parent responds, we judge if they handled it well or not. We might even investigate our own childhoods and determine what parental traits are worth keeping and which ones get the boot. But what makes a good parent, really?

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Coffee Chat: Dogs are like kids, right?

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

My family has been fostering Roxie, a young black lab mix, for a few months now and it’s been hectic. We have had a dog before, but that was when my husband was my boyfriend and the kids were nonexistent. I assumed this pup was going to be like the last one, similar temperament and obedient (silly me).

After watching a ton of dog training videos and using up the last of my patience and understanding, I’m happy to report that she’s becoming a polite pup on leash and at home. This process made me wonder if it’s true what they say about dogs and kids: are they really that similar?

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A Kid’s Best Friend: Pets and the Family

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

“Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms.” –George Eliot

A few months ago, our family got the opportunity to foster a young pup. We lost our first family dog a couple years ago, and we’ve been talking about having a new family dog on and off for a while.

According to the 2021-2022 National Pet Owners Survey, 70% of US households own a pet (an all-time high compared to previous years). Research has found that the impact of pet ownership on kid’s self-esteem appears to be greatest for children under 6 years and over 10 years of age. Also, children ages 7 and 8 rank their pets higher than their family members, viewing them as a best friend and confidant.

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The Things We Do For Our Kids

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

I’m openly tactile defensive. Even though my tolerance of certain things on my hands have improved, I don’t actively seek to get my hands dirty regularly. That is, until my bestie and fellow blog writer suggests we go to the SlooMoo Institute for a playdate (enter cringe mode).

Here’s the thing: Even though going to an immersive slime exhibit isn’t something I’d want to do, I knew my 5-year-old would enjoy it. Why miss a new experience for him because I can’t handle a little slime on my hands…or clothes. Agh, I digress.

This post isn’t about me or my dislikes, but rather how many parents do things we avoid, fear, or loathe for the sake of our kids. It’s very common that some parents don’t want their kids to inherit their own phobias, and they especially don’t want their kids to miss out. Whatever the reason, we know that we play a large role in our children’s learning and growing experiences.

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