Author: Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

A Resilient State of Mind: Dealing with Failure

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

Part of a child’s job is to learn, and failure is an inevitable part of learning. Failure is also an inevitable part of building resilience. Resilience is the ability to face life’s stressors/challenges, learn from mistakes, and recover. It’s a big cause and effect game happening in your child’s brain.

Our kids fail all the time, especially when communicating what they want or need in the first years of life. As they get older and experiment with boundaries and connect information, they can organize all of that cause and effect and turn it into action. They figure out what works (asking for help) and what doesn’t (throwing a fit), learning and adapting with each new situation.

But somewhere in their early school years, our kids can start viewing failure as a bad thing, limiting their exposure to new experiences, encounters, and achievements. What caused this switch and how can we help our kids embrace failure rather than avoid it?

Continue reading →

Growing the Executive Branch, pt. 2: Ages and Stages of Executive Functions

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

Executive function is a group of cognitive processes that help us analyze information to appropriately complete tasks or respond to social situations. A lot skills that make up this collective and many developing the moment your baby opens their eyes and see your face (Aww). It’s not until they enter their school years where cognitive struggles start to arise, like recalling info, adapting to changes, or having self-control. So how do we know what’s typical, what isn’t, and how to help? Well, let’s break it down by age.

Executive functioning is essentially an umbrella term involving cognitive control, and it can be divvied up into three main areas: working memory, cognitive flexibility (aka flexible thinking), and inhibitory (or impulse) control.

Continue reading →

Growing the Executive Branch, Pt. 1: Experiences and Executive Functions

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

If you have ever witnessed your child work through a problem, wait for a reward, or make plans for an upcoming event, you’re watching their executive functions in action. When they’ve easily lost their temper, forgotten what you said, or were too rigid to view a situation from another angle; that’s evidence that those mental skills are still developing. We talked about basic executive function last fall but here’s a deeper look into what makes it grow.

Executive functions refer to a set of mental skills that allow us to appropriately engage with our environment. Together, they manage our thoughts, actions, and emotions to accomplish tasks throughout the day. It’s housed in the prefrontal cortex. Although it gathers information from other parts of the brain to determine how to plan, organize, and manage situations, it is the last of the brain regions to mature. Children are not equipped with executive function skills when they are born. Instead, they develop them through quality of experiences.

Continue reading →

Late Bloomer: The Prefrontal Cortex

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

You ever think back on the things you did during your childhood and just ask yourself, Why? Like, what was I thinking?

Now that we’re parents, we find ourselves like a broken record, repeating instructions to our kids or cringing at their decisions and asking the same question: Why? What are you thinking?

Honestly, no one thinks as critically as an adult and for good reason: the prefrontal cortex. We’ve mentioned this brain structure and its significance in many of our previous posts, but it’s time to put a spotlight on this region and give it the credit it so genuinely deserves.

Continue reading →

Treat Yourself: Sensory Valentine

| Mary Stoffel, MOT, OTR/L

On Pinterest, there are hundreds of links on how to make a sensory bin or do sensory activities for your kids. We know through all of our OT-forward wisdom that it is important to integrate sensory components in your child’s development. But what about us?

Our adult sensory system allows us to regulate our arousal levels to appropriately engage and complete our daily routine. When we ignore what our body is seeking in order to make it through the day, we can become agitated or distracted and those nearest and dearest become unfortunate casualties (sorry spouse).

We’re starting to hate the phrase “self-care” because it’s turned into all this noise about buying stuff and going to spas. This is called “prescribed balance”; it’s all of these things that society says we should do because it’s supposed to help us fix ourselves. In reality, it’s just another to-do list unless you are actually listening to what your body needs.

Those little things—from the smell of pancakes and bacon in the morning, to feeling the cool breeze during an evening stroll, to snuggling up under the covers while reading a good book—all have a sensory component and can be the unsung heroes of our own recovery. Here are some sensory suggestions to help you reset your happy.

Continue reading →