It can be really heart-breaking (and equally frustrating) when we hear our kids say, “I can’t do it. It’s hard. I quit.” Giving kids challenging tasks can make them take a step back and reassess the situation, but what do we do when these thoughts completely influence their mindset and outlook?

Lately, Patti’s 6-year-old Z has been going through these bouts with reading and writing. If she misspells a word or has trouble sounding out a word, she gets heated, stops trying altogether, and then has a meltdown, claiming that everyone is being mean to her. To add a little detail, her sister and friends are slightly ahead of her in these subjects and she feels like she is either left behind or we’re being too hard on her.

From birth, kids quickly learn new skills and gain the confidence to use them. As they get older, that confidence allows them to trust their own capabilities and bounce back if they’re unsuccessful at something. We know resilience builds after facing setbacks. So, it’s tough to see our kids throw in the towel without trying.