911: 911, what’s your emergency?
Cole: My babysitter is trying to kill me.
911: Are they still in the house?
Cole: They’re downstairs having a blast.

Finding someone to care for your kids isn’t just about hiring help—it’s about trust. And that’s not always easy to come by. Some families are lucky enough to have nearby relatives who happily step in so parents can sneak away for a date night or a breather. Others, like me, don’t have that built-in support system. So we turn to babysitters, hoping to find someone who our kids adore and who we feel safe with.

I’ll be honest, this part is hard for me. I didn’t have great babysitter experiences growing up, and horror films, cautionary tales, and unsettling headlines don’t exactly ease my nerves about inviting someone new into our home. I know my anxiety might be a little over the top, but it’s real and it can seriously shrink the number of nights out, grown-up events, or occasions when we get to be something other than a parent.

“It’s So Hard to Find Good Help These Days”

When our son was born, finding help felt easy. We had a small but mighty village of neighbors and friends who were happy to step in for an hour or two so my husband and I could catch our breath. But as he grew older and his twin sisters arrived, the ask got bigger. It wasn’t as simple for others to take on the chaos of three.

Eventually, we found our unicorn: A co-worker’s daughter who was warm, capable, and adored by our kids. She was our go-to nanny and sitter for a few wonderful years until she became a professional adult pursuing her own career dreams. And just like that, we were back at square one, trying to find someone new we could trust. You’d think the process would be easy to just find a new babysitter, but it wasn’t and I know I’m not the only one who’s felt that way.

Parents are nervous about hiring a new caretaker for a multitude of reasons, including:

• Fear of harm or neglect. Parents worry about accidents, unsafe behavior, or emotional distress while they’re away.
• Stranger anxiety. Even with references, it’s hard to trust someone new in your home and with your child.
• Background uncertainty. Parents may worry about hidden risks or lack of experience, especially if the sitter is young or unfamiliar.
• Cost. Babysitting can be expensive, especially for multiple children or specialized care. For instance, the going rate to care for three children in our area typically ranges from $20 to $25 per hour.
• Availability. Finding someone reliable who fits your schedule and parenting style can be tough.
• Child’s reaction. Parents worry about separation anxiety, resistance, or emotional fallout from a bad match.
• Feeling guilt or shame. Some feel guilty for needing help or fear being judged for prioritizing personal time.
• Expectation to “do-it-all”. Some parents feel they should manage without help, especially in cultures that valorize self-sacrifice.
• Loss of control. Handing over routines, discipline, or emotional care can feel vulnerable—especially for parents used to doing it all.
• Online horror stories. Social media posts can amplify fears, even if they’re rare or exaggerated.
• Past experiences. A negative sitter experience (personal or secondhand) can make future hires feel risky.

It’s not sustainable to stay tethered to our kids 24/7, waiting for the day they’re old enough to stay home alone. That means finding babysitter or nanny support: full-time, part-time, or for evenings out. Hiring help isn’t a failure (who ever came up with that one sucks), it’s a form of care. It supports our children’s social growth, strengthens our mental health, and builds resilience for the whole family.

For us in Georgia, age 9 is acceptable for a kid to be home alone for less than 2 hours; age 13 for being alone or taking care of younger kids for up to 12 hours.

Help Wanted

Hiring someone to care for your child is a big emotional leap. But where to start? Note: These steps can also be applied to find a nanny as well.

Step 1: Finding a Babysitter

This is quite honestly the most overwhelming part of the process, especially if you don’t know where to look. You can find babysitters through trusted online platforms, local community networks, and personal referrals. Each option offers different levels of convenience, vetting, and personalization:

• Online childcare sites like Sittercity or UrbanSitter allow you to browse profiles, read reviews, and schedule interviews.
• Local parenting groups found on Facebook, Nextdoor, or other neighborhood forums often have sitter recommendations.
• School or daycare staff such as teachers, aides, or assistants may offer occasional babysitting or know someone who does.
• Churches, synagogues, and community centers often have bulletin boards or word-of-mouth networks.
• Friends and coworkers can offer recommendations on any potential babysitters they may know and trust.
• Teenagers or college students,especially those studying child development or education, are often open to babysitting, or may know someone reliable who is.

Patti found her long-time nanny on Care.com. On certain online sites, you can specify if you are looking for a consistent nanny who comes every day, someone just for date nights, someone to just drive kids to and from activities, or even a personal assistant for yourself. You can also ask if you need additional help with cooking or laundry, but also expect to pay more for that service.

Step 2: Vet Them Out

Once you find a few potentials, time to get to know them. Hiring a sitter isn’t just about filling a time slot, you’re welcoming someone into your child’s world. It’s perfectly okay to ask for more details to help you feel confident and at ease. Trust takes time, and your comfort matters just as much as theirs.

• Conduct interviews. Ask direct questions about their experience, how they would handle emergencies, and how they enforce rules. Do they have a car/driver’s license? Are you on the same page as far as payment and availability? Are they caring for other families as well? If this is for a nanny role, definitely do this in-person.
• Verify qualifications. Request proof of First Aid and CPR certifications if needed.
• Check references. Contact references from previous jobs to get feedback on their performance.
• Run background checks. With the babysitter’s consent, check their criminal history and social media. Online sites will provide these as well.
• Trust your gut. Your intuition is important, so if something feels off, keep looking for someone else.

Step 3: Meet the Family

Some people might skip this step, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting your kids to meet a potential babysitter in person before welcoming them into your home.

• Set up a casual meet-and-greet. It doesn’t have to happen at your house. Try meeting at a nearby playground or park instead. It’s a low-pressure way for you and your child to get to know the sitter in a familiar, relaxed setting. If you have infants, a quick coffee date would work as well.
  
• Communicate openly by disclosing that you’re feeling a bit anxious, especially if this is your first time hiring someone new. Chances are, they’ve been in your shoes too, either as a first-time sitter or working with first-time parents. A little openness can go a long way in building mutual trust.

Step 4: First Date

Once you’ve found “the one”, the nerves may still be present. These strategies may help:

• Invite the sitter over 30 minutes early to ease into the handoff and observe how they connect with your child. If your child’s old enough, let them “train” the sitter by sharing favorite toys, routines, or making a welcome sign. It builds your confidence and gives your child a sense of ownership.
  
• Set expectations clearly by explaining your rules and expectations for your children and your home. If you have a specific parenting style that you need them to follow, or if they have food allergies that require strict monitoring, bed times, homework times, etc.
  
• Create a cheat sheet that includes routines, preferences, calming strategies, and any quirks. It helps the sitter feel prepared and shows you’ve set them up for success. Don’t forget to leave a list of emergency contacts and your location should they need it.
  
• Use a check-in system, such as a quick text update or photo during the visit can ease your nerves without hovering. You also need to let them know if you have cameras in your home.
  
• Begin with part-time or a try-on period. If you are looking for a regular nanny, you can first try part-time instead of full time or give them a week to try it out with no pressure. This gives them some input as well on if they are the right fit for your family, or if their working arrangement will mesh with your schedule. If everything works out and you want to hire them permanently, then you can start planning ahead.

Other considerations:

• While it’s awesome finding a great babysitter, it is always helpful to have a list of backups, especially if they are in-demand with other families.
  
• Consider what works best for your family and stay flexible. When Patti’s twins were little, she started with part-time help (3 days a week, then 5) with hours shifting from 9am–1pm to 8:30am–12:30pm or 10am–2pm, depending on schedules. Over time, her nanny supported overnights and even joined family vacations.
  
• You can still have a nanny if you work from home. Just because one or both parents work from home, it doesn’t mean that you can juggle parenting and working during the business day. If anything it makes having a nanny easier, because you are right there if needed.
  
• Keep in mind that your sitter/nanny has a personal life, too. If you are planning a date night, contact them in advance and don’t expect them to drop everything last minute. If you have changes in your schedule, please let them know as soon as possible. If you find yourself cancelling on them frequently, they will stop taking your call.
  
• There is no universal rule on when kids can begin babysitting, but most experts say kids ages 11–14 can start babysitting short-term. The American Red Cross offers a course at age 11, though they recommend starting jobs closer to 13. A few states set legal minimums, like Colorado (12), Georgia and Maryland (13), and Illinois (14).
  
• There’s no national law on when kids can be left home alone, but 14 states offer age guidelines. Most rely on parents to judge readiness based on maturity and safety.

Our End Game

Even though I’m still particular about who watches my kids, I’ve found a few sitters I trust when I need them. Turns out, neighborhood mom friends are plugged into the high school babysitting circuit. If one teen isn’t available, they usually know someone who is. A few of my kids’ friends also have nannies who are happy to help out occasionally. So while losing one amazing caregiver was tough, we ended up gaining a small circle of great ones. My kids love them, and my husband and I get to go on dates, see friends, and show up as more present parents. Everybody wins.

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